In the first post I made to this channel "Being honest with you, why I blog on this sites" I explained I blog here full-time due to chronic illness that happened after lockdowns. Content creation provides me with flexibility, and allows me to take the time I need.
It seems like my folks don't understand. They don't understand that your chronically ill body isn't the same as before the factor. Most disabled or chronic illness sufferers use various analogies to explain how taxing their condition is. The common one I hear is spoons.
A certain task takes a various amount of spoons. Say you have 30 spoons and you use 2 to shower and make your bed. Another 2 to make breakfast etc. My folks always complain that I never do anything. it's because I don't have the spoons. It's the chronic fatigue that gets to me. Your disability sucks the life out of you like leeches.
Now for the unexpected.
A week before Thanksgiving, when my grandma came home from choir rehearsal, she tripped on a rug and fell, breaking her knee. My grandpa got a walker you can sit in, I used it during bad flares that hurt to stand up. I thought she would use that and make her breakfast. Sit and gather whatever pots and pans she wants, and have the walker for support when standing. It turns out that I had to cook for her. My grandma is an early person and my flares are the worst in the AM and it's not as bad by noon. Often my meds aren't weak until the afternoon. I take my meds at night in case the side effects are drowsiness. Nonetheless, this is going to be a challenge with my unpredictable issues. Also, my grandma criticizing me to the tee had a negative toll on my mental health and I don't cook like I used to. I don't intend on coming off as not wanting to help her. The way she talks down to me makes it difficult. I haven't burned the kitchen down. I know what I'm doing.
meaning, as a chronically ill person, I dread instances that will cause me to exceed my spoon limit. Even if it was for me. For example, when I started having issues breathing, the place I was sent to had me go to the clinic and sign a form so they could request my records because they could not access them on their end.
I wish folks understood my chronic illness, You can't expect me to understand yours but invalidate mine.
I decided 2025 I will accommodate myself. It's why I chose content creation due to the freedom I have to modify things for myself. Whether my folks think I 'need" it or not. I need to take back control of myself. I know what I need. I should be the judge. I need to look out for myself. After doing a taxing task like grocery shopping, watch some Netflix, and edit later. Instead of recording, stream, then share the promo post on these sites. This is a way to deliver content to people when I can record and upload it. I choose content creation to modify things for myself, I should do that. make some drafts on here and all I have to do is post it or schedule some posts to go live. Helping my grandma is gonna be taxing, I need to look out for myself and do what I can to avoid crashing out.
Again, not saying I don't want to help her, it's going to be hard with my already limited spoons and her nonstop nagging took a toll on my mental health. Maybe this will teach her not to bite the hand that feeds you
)