People normally say last borns are lucky which I fairly agree. I believe everyone here knows I’m the last born of my parents because I’ve over broadcasted it. I’ve been taken care of all my life. This particular position of mine in the family made it so hard over the years to learn how to take care of myself, to grow mentally, to be independent, to think and decide for myself. I always depended so much on my mom and family for everything.
Anything that involved using my brain was not something I was interested in(except academics). They used to say oh for Abena? Let’s leave her because she doesn’t have enough sense to think for herself. Were they wrong? Yes, but could I prove them wrong? No.
During Covid 19 time, all schools closed down and we were asked to come home. I came home only to hear that my mom was at the hospital, on admission.
Everyone at home had travelled and the country was on lockdown so I was the only one available. I had to take charge. Manage my mom’s finances, reply her phone calls and emails, feed her plus hospital rounds. So it’s more like I had to take care of my mom. Trust me, I was scared because even at that time, I could barely take care of myself. I remember I used to ask google for everything, it might sound funny now but it was really serious at that time.
I used to cry every night because I didn’t know my left and right. It was so hard. There were days I went to the hospital without food and then the nurse would ask me about my mom’s food and then I would now remember and come back home to make something and send it back. My brain was everywhere. There was nobody to tell me what to do but I believed in myself and realized I wasn’t doing it for any ordinary person but my mom. It took a while before my mom was discharged. I kept on doing all that I was doing even after she was discharged.
Within those weeks, I saw so much improvement. I could think for myself, I could look at something and say no I don’t want this instead of waiting for my family to decide for me. It was a long ride but I kept growing. It was really hard sometimes but I kept riding through it.
I can’t even explain how hard it was to grow up. At a point, it felt like I was carrying this huge burden. It was a lot for me. It was like a high school graduate being asked to mange a company. Where is she even going to start from?
I later came to understand that it’s important to grow up mentally, think and decide for myself because that’s the only way to learn in life. I may make mistakes during the journey, but that would be my one way ticket to learning so many things.
All images are mine
