Over the past few days, I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of finding ways to coexist peacefully with others you can’t/don't want to change. This realization came from a small but meaningful moment in my daily life with my partner.
My partner deeply values communication with family, friends, and colleagues, both in personal and professional settings. As a result, he talks on phone a lot. Perhaps it’s his way of staying connected to the people he cares about.
Even in the past few days, despite tested positive for COVID and coughing frequently, my partner has been on the phone. While I understand their intentions, I personally find it challenging to endure the sound of one-sided phone conversations, especially when they go on for a long time. And as much as I feel sympathy for his health condition, the loud and frequent coughing can sometimes be overwhelming ...
This isn’t a new problem within us. There have been times when I’ve reached my limit and let my frustration explode. But I’ve come to realize that if I can’t change others, I need to find ways to create harmony where everyone’s freedom is respected. He has his right to enjoy his phone calls.
In the past, I could escape to my office to work and distance myself from noise. However, due to some issues, I had to move out of the office this autumn and am currently searching for a new place. I could go to a café but they aren't open in the night and there aren’t many spots in my neighborhood where I can truly relax and focus.
Then, I remembered something from the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. The book introduces a concept called “Morning Pages,” where you write three pages by hand every morning as soon as you wake up, capturing whatever is on your mind. While doing this exercise recently, the term “noise-canceling headphones” suddenly popped into my head. Curious, I decided to explore the idea further.
Although I’ve tried noise-canceling headphones in the past, I never found a pair that truly satisfied me. Still, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try again. After doing some research and trying out a few popular models, I discovered the Bose QuietComfort series. Initially, I hesitated because of the price (€279 or around $300). But after experiencing their noise-canceling capability and comfort, and realizing it's actually one-two months of rent for the former office, I decided to take the plunge. To my surprise, the timing was perfect. I found the headphones on Amazon for a discounted price of €229 (about $250), and I also remembered that I had €200 worth of gift cards saved up. It felt like everything aligned perfectly, and I placed the order.
Two days ago, the headphones arrived, and I’ve been using them ever since. The moment I put them on, I was amazed by how effective they are. The surrounding sound faded almost entirely, and it felt like I finally had my own “quiet space.” It’s as if I’ve gained a virtual office right in my home. With this newfound peace, I’ve been able to concentrate on my work and personal projects much better. I couldn’t be happier with the results. I'm also happy that I can be friendly to my family.
I’m still actively searching for a real office space, but this experience has taught me something important. A single product can make such a difference in creating peace at home and improving my mental well-being. It’s a reminder of how valuable it is to find practical solutions when coexisting with others. Additionally, I could change my image towards noise canceling technology. Good to try.
"I can’t change other people" doesn't mean giving up my freedom. I can change my approach—and sometimes, that’s enough to create harmony.
How do you think?
ここ数日、「変えられない他人と平和に共存するために工夫すること」について考える機会がありました。そのきっかけとなったのは、相方との日常の一コマです。うちの相方は、家族や友達、仕事相手とのコミュニケーションをとても大事にする人で、プライベートでもビジネスでも頻繁に電話をします。人とのつながりを感じたいという気持ちもあるのかもしれません。
ここ数日もコロナ陽性で咳をしながらも電話をしています・・・。ただ、私は片側だけ聞こえる電話の話し声が特に長時間続くとしんどくなってしまいます。さらに体調不良でつらいのはわかりますが、咳の音も頻繁で大きいと辛いです。
これまで音問題で爆発してしまったことが何度もありました。でも、「他人は変えられない」という前提に立つなら、どう工夫すればみんなが平和に暮らせるかを考えることが必要だと思うのです。みんなの自由を尊重しつつ、平和に暮らすにはどうしたらいいのだろう。
以前は、オフィスで仕事をすることで音から逃れる手段がありましたが、この秋にオフィスを退去することになり、今は新しい場所を探しているところです。カフェに行くという手もありますが、夜は閉まっているし、自宅近くにゆっくり落ち着ける場所はあまりありません。
そんな中、『ずっとやりたかったことを、やりなさい』の中で紹介されているモーニングページをしていると、「ノイズキャンセリングヘッドホン」という言葉が浮かび、気になり始めました。モーニングページは朝起きてすぐに頭の中に浮かんだことを手書きで3ページ書き出す作業です。
実はノイズキャンセリングヘッドホンはこれまでに何度か試したことはあったものの、満足できる製品に出会えずにいました。でも、ものは試しといくつか有名な製品を調べ、実物を見て、BoseのQuietComfortシリーズに出会いました。最初は価格（279ユーロ＝約43,000円）にためらいましたが、防音性能と快適さに感動して、よく考えてみると前のオフィスの家賃1ヶ月分ちょっとと思えばいいかと考えて購入を決意しました。さらに、タイミングよくAmazonでセール価格229ユーロ（約35,000円）になり、たまたまギフト券が200ユーロ分あったので、実質的な出費を抑えることができました。
一昨日ヘッドホンが届き、早速使い始めたところ、その遮音性に驚きました。咳や電話の声がほとんど気にならなくなり、自分だけの「静かな空間」が手に入った感覚です。まるでバーチャルオフィスを手に入れたような気持ちで、仕事や自分のしたい作業に集中できるようになり、とてもうれしいです。最先端のノイズキャンセリングヘッドホンに出会えたのもよかったです。
リアルなオフィス探しは引き続き行っていますが、製品ひとつで自分の心と家庭の平穏が保たれるなんて。変えられない他人と平和に共存するために工夫することの大切さを改めて実感したのでした。
