There came a time in my life when I was surrounded by darkness. I would feel nothing but gloom and sorrow. Life became a burden. Hopelessness resided in my heart. The feeling of helplessness had broken my courage. My ability to fight the undesired was hampered. My resilience had crumbled and my self-esteem was crushed.
I stopped expressing myself because of the fear of being rejected. The fear entrenched in my heart dragged me in the shell of emotional numbness and apathy. My self image was devastated. I started seeing myself as a worthless creature with no right to have desires or wishes.
Silence became the companion I wouldn’t want to leave. Expressing anything about my feelings would feel like pushing me more in the void of worthlessness. I often had thoughts of taking my life as it appeared to be the only escape from the abyss I was dwelling in.
Thankfully I was able to get out of that tough phase of my life. It certainly took a lot from me but it also taught me several worthwhile lessons and the strength to land above the calamities and obstacles.
The first thing that I understood was the importance of professional help. At times it is crucial to be assisted by a professional therapist or counsellor to figure us out the underlying causes of our sadness and emotional disturbance.
Often times the source of sadness are our closed relationships and so we avoid talking about our conflicts to any acquaintance. At times, we develop distrust in general. At other times, discussing the problem with another loved one is likely to create more mess and biased reactions. In such cases, a professional counsellor is the best option to vent and let us see the world through an unbiased vision. Moreover, professional assistance also let us see beneath the superficial facade of happenings.
The phase also taught me the importance of self-love. I realized that without having kindness and compassion for our own selves, we cannot give affection to others. You can only give what you have. An empty vessel cannot fill a glass.
Self-love includes valuing one’s uniqueness, understanding one’s limits, appreciating one’s abilities, and be forgiving to the supposed failures. It underscores the importance of being not influenced by others' opinions about us.
The attitude of self-love helps us give importance to our needs and thus we are resourceful enough to make us happy. By emphasizing the importance of self-love I not at all means to become a narcissist. Instead, self-love means to have the feeling of worthiness for one’s own self as much as we give value to others.
Another important lesson that I learnt was the detrimental effect of self-pity on our emotional well being. Self-pity destroys our ability to overcome our obstacles in a way similar to termites eroding wood.
I have realized that self-pity is like an addiction. It gives us a fleeting pleasure making us dwell more in the noxious cycle of negativity and stagnation.
Occasional feeling of being sorry is normal. Nevertheless, we should recognize the existence of self-pity as quickly as possible so, being trapped by it, we don’t lose our capabilities of embracing challenges.
If negativity or sadness becomes an integral part of our lives, it is also recommended to evaluate people in our surroundings. The presence of people with negative mind-sets and attitudes often makes us experience negative emotions. Our thought process and vision is influenced by their negativity in a subliminal manner. If there are such people around, try to avoid them as much as you can.
Try to have positive people in your close circle. If you cannot find one, it’s recommended to read a book with positive vibes. Involving oneself in creative and renovating activities may also help in overcoming negative feelings.
Last but not the least, practicing gratitude is of immense importance in taking us out of sadness and let us experience more positive emotions. By shifting our focus from what we don’t have to what we have, gratitude fills us with satisfaction and contentment.
In conclusion, while facing adversity or sadness there is no harm in isolating oneself for a brief period of time. The solitude should, however, be a source of mindful introspection so that one may figure out the cause and solutions for one’s negative feeling.
The post is my entry for Hl-featured contest. Week 120, edition 1.
Image created by me using Bing AI
