"I don't understand... no! I do. It's just that everything just became overwhelming at the last minute, and I am not so sure again." Sofia said with her face down as she spoke to her sister, Elena.
Stretching her hands forward, Elena held Sofia's hands as she spoke in almost a whisper. "Yes, you are sure. As much as it hurts me, I won't be an obstacle toward the sort of life you've always wanted... though you wished she could stay forever, her mind mocked, and Elena scoffed under her breath pausing briefly, Elena added. "Sof... you've done so much. Much more than your capacity, and I appreciate it."
"But..." Sofia tried to convince herself.
"But, nothing. You never missed a moment in my life. Not even the slightest one. Your family needs you, and you need to live the life you've always dreamt of because now, it has been achieved." Elena spoke, trying her best to relax her elder sister though she's deeply hurt.
Rubbing her palm on Elena's hands, Sofia smiled sadly. "I am scared. Scared of how life alone would be for you. It makes me feel like I am selfish... selfish because my husband and I visited the place, and I loved it. It was exactly as I had dreamt. The smell of nature all around, the smell of woods surrounding me with the perfect scenery. I was happy, and now that tonight is the only night holding us together, I can't help but be shaken. I hate long goodbyes." Sofia said, grinding her teeth silently to hold off the tears that are begging to be let loose.
Softly biting her lower lips, Elena flung her hands on Sofia's shoulder as she held on her cries. Not now! she mumbled quietly at herself.
Sofia had always been good. She had been the one who faced all the goodbyes. The adult at home when their mother had ovarian cancer when she was four and Elena was eight. Their dad had been lost in himself, especially when their mother died. There was barely laughter in their home, but that didn't stop Sofia from making her giggle endlessly. Sofia had been the big girl in the house, caring for her and their father.
Sucking in the air around the sitting room where they sat, Sofia let out a huge breath. She couldn't believe she'd be leaving her sister all alone. She was her first guardian before, and even after their mother passed away. She remembered vividly how scared she was when her mother became sick. She would always run to the Chapel in the hospital to pray and mostly to cry, hoping for a miracle despite knowing her mother's case was severe.
...and after their mother's death, she felt sad for Elena as she didn't receive enough love from their mother like she did. So, Sofia had promised to fill up Elena's life with love and to also take care of their dad until he died just a year after her wedding.
He never remarried. He did his best being available for them while burying himself in his work, and Sofia had done the work around home. Teaching and guiding her little sister Elena through life. She had always been fully focused on Elena. Made sure the loss of their mother didn't really affect her.
Sofia had worked and never even had a chance to date... never thought of it even. She was lost in her little sister's world of protection and happiness, and that's when she met him... Miles, her now husband.
Elena's and her coursemates had gone for a project trip for school, and their bus had an accident. The bus driver had quickly swirl the bus when another car almost hit them.
The bus was held by a tree from hitting the ground, and everyone was saved, though a few people were injured a little, and her sister was among the injured.
Sofia could remember how she almost lost her sanity as she got to the hospital. Her sister was 20 years old at that time, but she still treated her like a baby... My baby sister! she had screamed displaying some sort of madness seeing her sister hurt and Miles was one of the residential doctors then and he had treated her sister, spoken to Sofia and assured her her sister was safe.
Palming her sister's hair down as they hugged, Sofia smiled. She had been the reason she's married and now has two children in her 5 years of being married.
"I'll miss you Sof. I'll really miss spending time with your kids. Pushing you out to go on a date with your husband as I watch over them, just like you watched over me. I'll miss sleeping and waking up by your side... I'll miss ....I'll..." biting her lower lip a bit harder, Elena couldn't help the single tears that slowly left her eyes. Damn you! she had said quietly, but Sofia had heard her and had let out a deep chuckle.
Hugging each other tightly, they both knew that tonight is going to be the longest night for them, and longer goodbyes awaited them in a few hours.
"Two days plus by plane. How did Miles find that place? It sounds like the end of the earth to me." Elena scoffed, and Sofia laughed.
"Yeah. It was a very long journey, but it was worth it when I saw the house." Sofia said with a smile.
"Yeah...yeah...yeah. You won't stop talking about it when you come back. If I had known you'd love the surprise for your 5th year anniversary, I wouldn't have pushed you ahead while assuring you I could handle the kids for a week." Elena replied with a pout.
"I'll miss you." Sofia said, and they both knew that this would be far more than missing each other.
This would be the first time ever of them spending months and years apart, and Sofia couldn't help the string of pain in her heart. She would get to live in her dream house with her family but would be faraway from her sister. This is a long goodbye, and I don't like it! Sofia said beneath her breath.
"Sofia, I'll be fine. Please, don't guilt trip yourself. You've already lived life for me, and now is the time to let go. Besides, I am now a big girl. I have a good job and have amazing friends around me. You've prepared me, Sof. So, be happy and don't let the few hours left to be with your family at the airport tomorrow morning go to a waste. Miles has been a sweetheart taking care of the children while we spend tonight together. Also, I got groceries and you have to cook me enough food to last a lifetime." Elena said with a smile.
"Oh, about that..." pausing, Sofia stifled her laugh, "I remember you saying you are a big girl now. So, big girls do their cooking." Sofia replied with a smile.
"You want to play that game?" Elena asked while gently pushing away the glass table at the center of the sitting room.
"What are you planning to do?" Sofia asked while laughing.
"Watch me lay on the tile floor as I throw a tantrum." Elena replied, and Sofia couldn't help laughing hard.
