"Family gatherings are a must Becky, hope you will be there this year? It has already been over ten years, can't you let go?" Sharon my third cousin probed me over the phone. Sighing slowly, my mind flashed back to the last family gathering I attended.
It's not like I don't want to be a part of the end of the year family gathering, a gathering which attracts family members from "wherever" they are based and back to the village. I and my family had never missed a family gathering since I was three years old and trust me, the gatherings were usually memorable especially when you add the bickerings, cat fights, banters and threats thrown at one relative to another....all these make the family gathering "special".
Truthfully, that was the case until I turned 20. As usual, my family and I began making arrangements to travel down to the village. As was always the case, I looked forward to seeing my cousins and having a good time . December 20th was the day we made the trip and after two long days on the road, we finally arrived. The delay was caused by vehicular failures but fortunately we arrived safely at our family house in the village.
I should have known that things would be different that year from the usuals. There was tension in the air, thick enough to be touched and everyone was acting cautious. After some probing and eavesdropping, I learnt about my grandpa's illness. It was so bad that my aunts and uncles along with my parents were prepared for the worst. Well, I carried on with Christmas enjoyment like nothing was wrong.
As true as dawn, December 27th was grandpa's last day on Earth. He breathed his last and left us all to scatter like sheep without a shepherd. His death also revealed some ugly sides to some of my relatives that were covert. For starters, my third aunt claimed that a certain piece of land should be allocated to her while my unclrs were shushing her because she was feminine. In their own words, "Go and look for a man to marry and claim his properties. You have no share in this one". This was only two days after grandpa's demise.
From then on, the kitchen was divided, the little garden were fruits nd veggies were planted for home use was also divided. Each one was mindful of the other while also monitoring themselves for any tresspass. My dad tried his best to make peace but it was very clear that the family gathering had turned into family fued. I began to loathe staying at our family house because of the unending bickerings and so we travelled back to Lagos state on the 4th of January, the next year.
I was not pleased with how my aunts and uncles behaved especially with their covetous idea of claiming a dead man's belongings when he had yet to be laid to mother Earth. The whole shenanigan didn't sit well with me and I began to resent travelling home for family gatherings. It took two years of back and forth deliberations before an agreed date was fixed for grandpa's official funeral. Ever since then, family gatheringd are not my thing. Maybe I would take it up with my own family in the near future..."when I have a dozen kids of my own" 😁.
Thank you all for reading... Shalom
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