When it comes to telling lies, it’s something everyone will do eventually. No matter how hard we try to avoid it. From little white lies, to really big ones that can have damning consequences, we’ll eventually tell some. But then, what makes all the difference is our ethics and how far we’re willing to push the limits. That’s how far our conscience can allow us to go with regard to the lies we choose to tell.
From Santa Claus and Ojuju Calabar, down to the lady that lives on the moon with her mortar and pistol, throwing your fallen tooth on the roof of your house so lizards can take it away… we’ve always told lies. We were told them by our parents and elders at home. We just might tell them to our kids as well. It’s the circle of life.
For me, as long as I see it as a white lie that has no consequence, then I’m never skeptical about telling it. I always weigh my options, if there will be dire consequences for me or someone else, then I’ll think of some other solution. But if it’s a case where no one will get in trouble, then you can rest assured I won’t have any qualms about it.
One ready lie I always have is, “Sorry, I don’t have it.” This is something I’ve forced myself to learn to say, especially in this area I’m living in. People will beg you for anything and everything, and if you’re always giving, they won’t stop until they bleed you dry. I used to be very receptive, but I learned otherwise pretty soon.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t give when people ask you, especially if you can afford to give. Although for these set of people, even when I can comfortably afford it, I still lie to them that I don’t have it. There are people who many times, when I see them on the road, I’m scared of greeting them simply because I’m scared of them billing me. When they see me in a shop buying something, they’ll ask me to pay for their own as well. When I give them a usual handshake, they’ll ask me, “Anything for your boy?”
The funny thing is it’s never cruise with these guys. They’re really asking for these things, but it always seems that they’re asking for it just because they saw me and not because they really wanted it. Like, if you didn’t see me at the shop, how then would you have paid for the things you bought? If you didn’t see me at all today, does it mean you would have starved?
It was okay at first, and I was quite receptive. But then, I noticed how frequent it was, so I started telling them no. When they hail me, I hail them back. They call me boss, I call them Chief. They bill me, I let them know that I’m the one that should be billing them. So far, I’ve been able to reduce the unnecessary billing in my life. Not just in my physical life, but also online as well. Imagine trying to reconnect with an old friend and the first thing they’d send to you is an account number or a litany of all the troubles they’re going through. They won’t even care to know if you’re buoyant enough to help them out. So, I tell them the same thing, “No.”
However, this is not exclusive to monetary matters. I also stopped giving things like matches and lighters to smokers. When they come to ask for mine, I tell them I don’t have it or mine is finished even though I know that’s a lie. This is mainly because they would never return it. At least the ones here in my lodge don’t return it. They use it until all the gas in the lighter runs out, or when it’s almost finished. I always find it annoying because I usually use the lighter for well over a month. Yet, because of these guys, I was buying new lighters almost twice a week. It was annoying.
These are the little lies I tell to protect my own sanity because one thing I’ve learned is that these streets don’t send your mental health. You have to protect yours or they’ll mess you up big time. I’m not speaking against these people that are in my posts, everyone has the right to live their lives however they want. However, I also deserve to live my life how I want. If I feel you’re only trying to take advantage of my generosity, then I won’t mind cutting you off in an instant.
When people genuinely need your help, you’ll know and they’ll be intentional about it. That’s when I’ll be willing to give the help I can afford. However, if you’re only asking for my help simply because we bumped into each other on the road, then it won’t matter if I’m the richest man in town. *I no get be say I no get!” Come and beat me!
This has been helping me and it’s a mantra I’ve been sticking to with no regrets. And so shall it remain.
