Image by StockSnap from Pixabay
“See, I feel like my dad and your Cousin Harry are the same type of people, and both my grandmas and your grandfather are the same type of people.”
Eleven-year-old Velma Trent was talking best friends with ten-year-old Andrew and eleven-year-old Eleanor Ludlow.
“Yeah, that's basically right, because Sgt. Trent is very much like Cousin Harry, and they served together, too,” Eleanor said.
“And so then, your grandfather, your mom, and our Cousin Maggie and Grandma would be getting this great event together and if the wrong people showed up to the cookout they would never get home and nobody would really know why,” Andrew said.
“I just see like a tea party,” Velma said, “a whole Halloween Horror tea party of problems for the wrong people. Cousin Harry and my dad are so smooth when they are done with people that you would be sitting up having tea and not knowing death comes to tea until you figured it out in Heaven or Hell.”
“Hey!” eight-year-old Edwina Ludlow said. “That reminds me of a whole scene from my used-to-be favorite show Breaking Bad!”
“I still can't believe there are foster parents who would let like a six or seven-year-old be watching that stuff,” Velma said.
“They are in jail for a reason,” Andrew said. “Papa broke bad, in the most legal way possible, of course.”
“See, that's the kind of way my grandmother who is my namesake would deal with a situation,” Velma said. “Big Mama Velma doesn't care if you know when and how she's coming because you ain't going to be ready. Now, Grandma Gladys ain't telling you because Jubilees-of-the-mountain don't have to – you're supposed to hear Jubilee, go learn some real history from here to Pennsylvania, and already know you are gone if you are messing with anyone they are protecting.”
“Exactly,” Edwina said, “because, see, on the show, there is this guy named Gus and he didn't play about his. These people had hurt someone he cared about and made him come to a party to celebrate getting him back in line. He was like Cousin Harry levels of quiet and peaceful until he went to the bathroom to throw up what he drank because he had spiked every one of their drinks and even his own – because he didn't play about his!”
“Wait, what?” Velma said. “You mean they are out there doing stories about hardcore people like my dad and your cousin?”
“The difference is, in real life, Cousin Harry and Sgt. Trent don't really do revenge, because they don't have to,” Eleanor said. “In real life, they would be checking to see if there was another way to do that. Cousin Harry loves setting up situations for people to surrender, and I get that vibe from Sgt. Trent too.”
“Yeah, Dad is pretty mellow,” Velma said. “He will get you but only after all else fails. My little brother Milton has lived until nine years old just because.”
Edwina considered this.
“That's actually kinda good, though,” she said, “because we need people at tea parties to actually be alive so they can see each other's fashions. That was my problem with Gus. As fashionable as he was, too, I mean, he shoulda stunted on the rest of them a little more.”
“That's why it's important that our people are actually on the side of good, because all good comes with the package,” Eleanor said.
“Yeah,” Edwina said. “I gotta be a cute gardener, so folks gotta stay alive to see and eat.”
“No dead bodies at the tea party,” Andrew said.
“Nope,” Velma said. “That's why you gotta roll with the good guys – dangerous, but still good.”
