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“So, who is going to tell Rob that he doesn't quite get it?”
“Not me. This misunderstanding is how your family food budget is going to include y'all in the coming years.”
Eight-year-old Gracie Trent was talking to nine-year-old George Ludlow about five-year-old Lil' Robert Ludlow explaining to his and George's sister seven-year-old sister Amanda what he had learned from his big cousin Maggie carefully cutting his food.
“See, Cousin Maggie said we cut big pieces of food so we don't choke, but, see, it also means we get more food.”
“I don't get it, Rob,” Amanda said. “Is Cousin Maggie using some kind of magic?”
“Yeah, she is, because before she cut it up it's one big bite but after it can be five or six!”
“Oh, that's right – it is magic! It's called multiplication and stuff!” Amanda said, and then ran into the house to get the times tables.
“Oh no,” George said.
“See, Rob, this is how multiplication and stuff works … you can take one piece of food and make it into as many as you want by cutting it … so, if you cut it like 12 times, you get 12 pieces of food.”
“That's two different forms of magic at once,” Col. H.F. Lee, also known as Cousin Harry, said to Amanda, “but go on and teach your five-year-old brother how to multiply and divide before he can even add well or subtract.”
Sure enough, Lil' Robert had learned his times tables before lunchtime, and brought them into the kitchen to show his big cousin Maggie.
“See, look, Cousin Maggie, because, see, I can get from three feet six to six feet three next week if you just give me 12 pieces of food and cut them 12 times so I can have 144 pieces of food for every meal, because, see, I need to fill my hollow legs up and really start growing!”
“Next meal, though,” Mrs. Maggie Lee said with a smile.
“Next meal, though!” Lil' Robert said.
“Is the world really ready for Rob to already be multiplying and dividing at just five years old?” George said.
“Is y'all's budget really ready for him to think this is working and not eat y'all out of house and home?” Gracie said.
“Well, yeah,” George said. “I like to eat, and I'd like to get enough to get tall too, so, yeah.”
Meanwhile, many hours later …
“Forget big pieces of food – we were about to choke on that, trying not to be doing what we are doing now!” Col. H.F. Lee said to his wife as they lay in bed helplessly laughing at the whole situation!