A child is born into the world empty, lacking any form of social skills and knowledge to navigate the world. Depending solely on the directives of his/her parents for guidance and protection to stay out of harm's way. slowly and steadfast, the child grows in knowledge and wisdom he/she pass through the agents of socialisation.
Formulation of attitude and personality can be traced back to the socialisation process or genetically engineering, the most amazing thing is that along the line a child is prone to pick up some habits either positive or negative, though it might not be constant because some habits gets left behind and renewed by another as maturity sets in. While some habits are constant, such habits a child only gets better at doing it.
It is the primary duty of a parent to mod a child into someone who is considered to be responsible and an acceptable in the society, a duty that is solely dependent on the ability of a parent to discharge their duties. Irrespective of a parents short comings, every parent will definitely have a Standard or outlined principle that guides the way their child is trained which could be as a product or extract from religious doctrines, cultural heritage or individual perspective.
In as much as parenthood is learnt from experience, the ability of parents to impact needful knowledge on their child varies. Out of the little well of knowledge in the possession of each parent, they expect their children to bath in it and appear in an image that conforms with their perspective of what a child should be like. As Much as a parent desires it to be so, it doesn't always turn out to be. As a child grows learning about themselves and their environment, they become more aware about their capabilities.
Like they say, the more enlightened you are the more valuable you feel. This growth stage affects children in different ways but most children tends be rebellious an attitude aiming at rejecting the teachings and restrictions from parents. Truth be told, no parent is ever happy about this which means some parents might go to extra miles to ensure that they keep their children under control but is that the right way to go about it? I mean it is quite frustrating to see a child you trained till he/she becomes teenager and suddenly such child start exhibiting some behaviour that is completely different from the way you raised him or her.
But then when you think about it carefully, it is the right of a child to express their opinion while it is the duty of a parent to ensure the actions of a child is in moderation. In my part of the world the rights of a child are limited till we reach adulthood. Using culture to illustrate some examples, Nigeria is a cultural oriented country with diverse culture and traditions. As someone from the Yoruba tribe I'm quite aware of the fact that most yoruba parents ensures that their children attitude conforms with the traditions of Yoruba land which is an attitude common among every tribe to ensure the continuity of the culture. It is not as if we are not being civilised but we believe in the values embedded in our culture that are tantamount to the success of our children.
There are a lot of things not expected from children in our tribe which might be acceptable in other tribes, especially matters of greetings. Imagining a child I have thought about our ways and such child chose to deviate from it, What will be my reaction?
It all depends on what he/she chose to do, if what my child chose to do is still positive but different from the way I thought him/her to get such things done, I don't think I will have any issue with it. The world is evolving which means parents needs to be ready to accept innovative ideas even if it doesn't fully conform with the olding days traditions, in as much as it brings about positive change and result I will definitely be in support of it.
In a case whereby my child decides to deviate from what I thought him or her into something negative then I would have no choice but to take up the responsibility of ensuring a change in his/her perspective to ensure he/she will follow the right path even if it is through therapy. Though it doesn't not really guarantee that the child will change for the better but at that point all a parent can do is try and hope for the best.
This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled "A changed child" in hive learners community.
Cover image - 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗏𝖺
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