... of being kind.
I know. Feelin' a bit cute, huh? Bound to pass. But until then, on a less cringy note, I've been thinking about kind acts and what they mean. And what they should mean, maybe. I tend to see the good in people. Or no, that was true when I was a bit younger. It was a default then, and while it still is now, it's also an active choice. You've gotta look out for it, gotta believe in the best.
You end up becoming what you see in the eyes of those you love. (The Angel's Game, Carlos Ruis Zafon)
So if you, like me, are worried about the thought of living in a cold, cruel, dog-eat-dog world, maybe it's time to consider less who's "winning",and more what your eyes are projecting out into the world. In the immortal words of Hot Priest (Fleabag),
Why believe in something awful when you can believe in something wonderful?
They say it's the smart thing to do. The careful thing to do. You wise up and start mistrusting people, expecting the worst. You trade hope and innocence for street wisdom and bitterness.
Sounds like a shit deal to me.
So I'm sticking to my guns. But I'm doing so consciously. If the choice is between be kind and get hurt or don't be kind at all, I'm choosing the former. Which is where doing it consciously comes in.
Not everyone is deserving of your good heart.
Yes, they are.
This isn't the Christian turn-the-other-cheek in me talking. But the argument seems absurd. Of course everyone deserves your kindness. Because you're not being kind for them, but for you. You are always gonna be the person with most to gain from a kind act, so the question isn't are they deserving of your kindness. Are you?
No good ever came of repaying cruelty and deception with more cruelty and deception. And to return to yet another famous saying, those who deserve your kindness the least are probably most in need of it.
There's a cancer in our society that teaches you the "smart" thing to do is be stingy when you can be generous. You need to learn how to outmaneuver the player. How to hurt them before they can hurt you. What a sad state. Whenever I hear people, often women, talking about how to "beat then at their own game", I come back to this.
This "who has the power" game is, as the sketch shows, for psychos.
It may be smart. May make you win, but it's also making you a lot poorer. See, you don't lose by being kind. You lose by expecting to barter your kindness. That doesn't work. The moment you start doing seemingly nice things in hope of a reward (be it a gesture, compliment, or creating an attitude in another), you end up playing yourself.
That's how you end up with thinking like "people don't deserve my kindness". If only, instead, you understood that kindness is in itself inherently doing yourself a favor, you'd be a lot more chill. In terms the modern world favors, you're already getting yours by being kind. You're putting out good energy into the world, and the less you stop to think about it (to expect something in return), the happier you will be.
Not everything's a power game. And if you do end up being kind to someone who views the world in such narrow terms, they're on the losing end by default. Your kindness doesn't put you below them.
Kindness can't put you below.
Frankly, I'm a little sick and a little frustrated by a world that wants to crush goodness, that treats trust and love as weaknesses to be cured of.
You need to grow up.
Or maybe you need to grow down a notch, 'cause the rarified air up there seems to have got to your brain.
If being stingy with my love, cruel, a "boss bitch" or a player of any sort means growing up, I'm good where I am, thank you. Though it might come across as desperately uncool, Imma keep being kind when I can. I probably won't learn how to outsmart or outplay or "show them who's boss" any time in the future. It's not a lack of skill on my part, merely one of interest. It seems like a great waste of time, and I'm quite happy with the returns I see on my kindness.
If it ain't broke...
Wes & Grindan