Hello Everyone!
Taking a long break, A bungled supply run, Propane heater repair, Cleaning up the mess, A far-reaching discovery & Hive is still the best!
Alright, I dropped writing these entries all together over the previous three weeks... and while I did not exactly want to do so I needed to do so in order to focus on my own well-being for a bit. Overall, I guess it is fitting that I have not been able to stay on a consistent writing routine since I got here... given the stressful scenario that I have found myself in.
What happened three weeks ago is that I finally got a ride to get my propane tanks filled... and for the first time in many months I was around other people... which of course illuminated just how far off the rails I had fallen. During that outing we stopped by a buddy's farm in a nearby town... and long story short... I neglected to prioritize doing my planned supply run because I was so busy soaking up the peace around me.
It was not until that day that I realized just how shell shocked I was feeling... and just how deeply all the events over my last seven odd months here has impacted me. I mean I knew it (my bad experiences here) had all done quite the number on me mentally (and emotionally) but that stuff combined with dealing with the aftermath of hurricane Helene... was apparently just way too much for me.
The most telling thing that day of the supply run was how I just could not get it together enough (due to the shock and feeling so relieved to be anywhere but at my place) to properly manage my time... and not waste the time of the person giving me a ride. For the folks that know me they know that I take my supply runs seriously... and am always super punctual and laser focused when it comes to not just doing them... but also with how I do not waste the time of the folks helping me.
Eventually, I did get my propane tanks filled that day... but I did not do any of the other supply shopping that I had hoped to do... plus my ride wound up having to drive home after dark which is something that they were wanting to avoid doing. I still feel horrible about how 'out of it' that I was feeling that day... and that I had wasted someone's time that went way out of their way to help me.
All of that stuff sank in once I got 'home' that evening... and I pretty much decided then and there that enough was enough... and that I needed to do something (any-fucking-thing) to salvage what I could of my sanity and get myself back on track. So, I stopped everything that I had been doing each day (which was mainly relief work for folks in the DZ) and dove headlong into my coding hobby.
For the first few days I also spent some time cleaning up some of the mess around me... because whoa... spending such long hours each day focused on relief work had not left me much time to keep things as tidy as I like them. Things are still a bit of a mess around here actually... but at least they are not quite as gross as they were before.
Which of course all makes perfect sense, considering that this kind of lifestyle takes a tremendous amount of work each day... and since I was literally only eating, sleeping and doing relief work... I had zero time for anything else. As I have stated numerous times in the past... the only thing that I actually enjoy being messy is my writing table/desk and any other messes tend to drive me crazy as hell!
Another thing that happened around that same time frame was that my new propane heater quit working... and I had to switch back to using that small camping heater that yeah should probably never be hooked to a large propane tank (via a supply hose) and definitely never be used indoors. After a few days of using that backup heater something happened to it where it would not produce a uniform 'flame' which either had to do with not using a pressure regulator with it... or perhaps it had gotten oils (from the interior of the rubber hose breaking down under high pressure from the propane) built up inside it restricting the gas flow.
Since it was super cold during that time I just made due with the dodgy heater... and hoped that I did not either burn the tent down or get too much carbon monoxide poisoning. The only good thing about that entire scenario is that the backup heater is much more efficient with how much fuel it uses... and I was able to stretch the propane much further than I could with the other heater.
After a while, I got fed up enough with the scenario (or my brain fog lifted enough) that I realized that I could most likely order some compressed air... and get it delivered via that shopping and delivery service that has saved my butt here numerous times. It literally took me less than three minutes to get my main heater working again... and all I did was use the compressed air to clear any blockages in the pilot orifice and those in the internal supply line that provides it fuel.
I have yet to try giving my old propane heater (the one the new one replaced) the same treatment... but I think that given its age I am going to fully dismantle it, blow compressed air through all the lines (and the pilot orifice) and maybe replace the thermocoupler in it. Even though I cannot see a situation where I would need to use both the heaters at once... I do find comfort in having the option to if the need arises... plus just having a real backup heater gives me some peace of mind.
Anyways, the other day I had the realization that it has been a very long time in life since I have stayed in 'camping mode' for anywhere near this long... and ugh I am pretty over it at this point. That said, no matter how over it I may feel... it is the situation that I find myself in... and getting hung up on it is not going to magically make things better!
In other news, my recent coding endeavors have been rather interesting because I accidentally uncovered some weird mechanism via which anything can be brought to equilibrium with. I still do not know what the heck to make of it all... and continually keep trying to get brighter minds than mine to look it all over... because whoa if it can be widely adapted... it could be a real game changer in nearly every way imaginable... not just in how complex systems are brought to equilibrium but also in how we view the 'universe' at large.
I know that is a bold claim which is why I think it is vital for brighter minds to look it over. The thing is that I have done nearly everything that I can imagine to disprove its usefulness... and all I keep finding is more ways to apply it across pretty much every aspect of the various STEM related fields... in a very data agnostic (and field-of-study agnostic) way.
If anyone is interested in looking all that stuff over I wrote a post about it here and have a software repository for it here where I have been testing the equation (and adaptations of it) over the previous week.
I am actually super excited to see what some of the bright minds in the Hive community can make of it all... and hopefully the technology can help innovate things in such a way that everything becomes less computationally expensive, faster, more resilient and much more efficient to boot. I should not make the claim that it can do any of those things... but from what I can tell there is assuredly the potential for it to happen.
Well on that note, I am going to wind this post down... and prepare to say so long to the year 2024! It has been a brutal year and although I have not been able to be on here as much as I would like to be... this is still the best damned community on the internet... and being a part of it has played a massive part in my own stability during this particular adventure. The reason why (for those who are curious) is because at the end of the day (or night) just knowing such a community exists is not just heartwarming... but downright morale boosting even in the most challenging scenarios.
In short, I super appreciate all of you (or at least the majority of you) and yeah I have no frigging idea where I would be today without you being in my life over the previous seven odd years. On that note, I hope that everyone is doing well and takes the proverbial 'bull by the horns' this coming year! Ciao for now and ya'll be easy on yourselves and each other.
