The art of deception

We live in a world where honesty is supposed to be the best policy but more often than not, there is that self-repressed corner of reality reserved for the “good lie”. Lying is generally a bad thing but this type of lie is seen as good because of the intent behind it. I usually distinguish lies based on the intentions behind them and while most people just tell lies for selfish or nefarious reasons, a good lie is usually crafted as a means of saving oneself or a loved one from a bad situation by redirecting into better options. Sometimes we do this because we have foreseen potential harm and a loved one won't take our advice if we tell them the truth.

When I was a child, I used to get into a lot of trouble and most of the time I tried to lie myself out of them but I always got caught. I realized that I needed to get better at lying and one thing I realized about lies is that for it to seem genuine, you have to believe it yourself and also add some truths to it. These days I would say I have gotten better at crafting lies but to what end? I know that there's no need for me to tell lies anymore now that I'm an adult and no longer do the crazy things I used to do in my childhood. Even if I do something bad now, I can own it with my chest and take responsibility for it.

Does that mean I don't tell lies these days? Of course not, but that's where the so-called "good lies" come into play. These days, I mostly just lie to avoid creating problems between me and my friends, and it's mostly when it comes to matters involving money. We all know how powerful money is and how it has torn lots of relationships apart, I definitely can relate to this one. I used to be a very generous person in the past but I learned my lessons the hard way because after everyone around you has milked you dry, they will all leave and you will have nowhere to run to.

All through my university years, friends frequently borrowed money from me and it was all good because they paid back on the very day they said they would. But in my final year, I started noticing that they were delaying paying back money that they borrowed from me. The worst part was when they started giving me a bad attitude when I tried to ask for the money and it was now looking like I was the one begging them for money and that's one thing I hate; begging people for money. It got to a point where I quarrelled with one of my friends because of money they borrowed and refused to pay back, and I was very broke at that period.

The whole issue completely changed me and I stopped lending money to people. Late last year, a friend called me on the phone and after speaking for a while, he begged me to lend him some money to add to the one he had because there was a promo sale for the phone he wanted to buy and it will be ending soon. I had the amount he requested but after thinking about it for a while, I just told him that I'm currently broke because I have used all my savings to buy a new laptop. The new laptop aspect is true and everyone knew that but I wasn't exactly broke at that period, I was just avoiding a situation where I would start begging him to pay back and creating lots of negative energies.

The only people I don't lie to about money is my family, my siblings sometimes borrow money from me and I always give them as much time as they want to pay back. But as for other people, the answer is always "I'm broke". I have learned my lessons the hard way and have come to realize that it's better I just tell them I don't have rather than trying to explain why I won't lend them the money. And honestly, I don't feel bad anytime I tell such a lie because even as I'm writing this now, a couple of my friends still owe me money since last year but I have already closed that chapter and I keep those loans as a reminder anytime someone asks me for money.

In the end, the concept of good and bad lie depends on who is on the receiving end. Me telling my friends that I don't have money even when I do might be seen as a bad lie to them when they find out (if they find out) but to me, it's good. Maybe I will stop doing that when I'm a millionaire or something and I can afford to let go of the money I loaned to people but for now, I don't have the energy to drag people for the money that they borrowed so the best option is to just lie about it. I know some people would probably just say no instead but that will just hurt the other person's feelings and I rather not do that.

Thanks for reading

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