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I'm one of those people who questioned the sanity of those who stayed in servings that put them in whatever form of abuse, particularly those in romantic relationships.
A few years ago, there were a lot of reports about people who had been put under serious of harm, resulting in death even. From thence, a number of persons grew the liver to talk about theirs. Then, many other people used anonymous links to share their woes. It was terrible and scary to read
It always baffled me while these people, most of them being adults, could not be responsible for themselves enough and love themselves enough to leave.
Then I met this lady. She is not a friend, just an acquaintance who found me a safe space enough to share her tales. While I listened in amazement and disgust for all she had to endure in the hands of someone who supposedly loved her and should protect her, she said something that interested. It was something about how if she was in a relationship with someone and he did not hit her, then she would quit the relationship. According to her, she liked it when her man beat her cause , and it meant he loved her and was correcting her for a wrong. My jaw dropped.
I would learn later that her dad used to beat her mum, and her mum would cover that act of wickedness by saying gibberish about him loving her and her dad too said same. I did not believe that people lived like that. I only thought all of those stories were fictional. Not real experiences involving real people. I then understood that it was some sort of trauma, and that helped me understand a little why these things are how they are.
In our society, it's crucial to approach the topic of abusive relationships with empathy and understanding. It's easy to pass judgment on those who stay in abusive relationships, but it's important to recognize the complex factors that keep them trapped. Factors as;
The Fear of Starting Over
I have come to learn that leaving an abusive relationship is not as easy as it may seem. Most times, the victims of these abuse may be overcome by the fear of the reality of starting life afresh and worry about their safety, financial stability, and social support.
There's Psychological Manipulation and Low Self-Esteem
From my findings, these abusers are skilled with manipulating and exerting control over their victims. They make their victims very comfortable and reliant on them and slowly begin to make them feel worthless, making them believe that they are inferior, unworthy, or incapable of surviving without them. In addition to making the victims feel a low sense of self-worth, they also feel trapped.
Then there's trauma bonding
This is one complex area of these relationships because it plays a big role in keeping the abused attached. The intense emotional connection formed through shared traumatic experiences can create a sense of loyalty and attachment, making it difficult for survivors to break free.
There's societal stigma and shame
Another factor that prevents people from leaving abusive relationships is the fear of judgment and societal stigma. Victims may worry about how they will be perceived by others, the blame they may face, or the lack of understanding from friends, family, or even authorities. What about the fear of being blamed? not believed ?or the social stigma.
I guess maybe you see why it's important to approach the topic of abusive relationships with understanding, empathy, and support. I don't know what exact method can be used to curb and prevent these as different situations require different techniques, and it's all not easy.
I hope that this was interesting to read. Thanks for coming around.