At some point in our lives, someone we love with our souls will die, whether by accident, whether they sought their own death through their actions, whether they completed their life cycle on earth, or any other cause that I will not mention here.
When this fatal event happens, some question it, others accept what happens. I think it must be because of the circumstances in which they have had to live.
In my particular case, I have not wanted to live that experience, but it is inevitable. I would have liked to have a superpower and eliminate that option to never live it in my life.
I was very young at the time, I remember I was 23 years old, I had come back from a trip with my mother and my seven year old brother.
I went home for a few hours to leave my suitcase and come back again because the next day I was going with them to a wedding that we did not go to because I was in the hospital. On that occasion there was no ambulance at the hospital to take him for an emergency tomography, since the organ involved was the brain.
That situation made me feel bad, I could not find a way to take him, until through an aunt, she did me the favor with her friend who worked in an ambulance network and took him to the clinic, the examination showed cerebral edema.
From then on, he was transferred to the Intensive Care Unit for his subsequent death. There were mixed feelings, I did not understand, I judged my mother and a boyfriend I had because I was talking to her when the child fell....
My mind experienced the episode of oblivion, because the love I had for my boyfriend vanished, it was as if he had never existed. That's how I reacted, I had his support at all times, although since then we have not been together again.
Since then 22 years have passed and he is not physically here, I lost her childhood, adolescence and adulthood, sometimes I remember and I get sad, now I see everything clearly, no one is to blame, these are things that happen and we have to continue.
Well, this year, death visits me again, my grandmother at 99 years old had her leg amputated, a few days later she dies at her home in the company of her children when she underwent a cure. Since I was a little girl I was with her, I shared beautiful moments that are kept in my heart as a great treasure.
There were plans to move and I rejected them when I was living. Now I am thinking of moving to the house my husband is building for us, it still hurts because it has only been 5 months.
What people tell me is that where my grandmother is, she is better, resting, without pain, that is true; however, one resists, it is hard to accept it, I only have the hope that I gave the best of me for my other mother, I wish someday to see her again.
I am working to feel strong and to face in the best way what happens around me. In the meantime, I must continue my life for my daughters that I have small, take care of them and be aware of their upbringing, which is what is really tangible at this moment.
I bid you a fond farewell, inviting you to get to know this community and to participate in the proposed weekend topics information here
Photos taken by @mariiale1979
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