I live in a world, where everything happens at once.
Most times, my mental state is not always stable, as I am always thinking and contemplating on what to do next, and what step I should take next.
How's my mom doing? Is my carrier going as planned? Where I'm I going to be in the next three years? What will I have achieved by then? How do I solve the problems at hand? Will I even be successful in life? These thoughts, and more, keep banging my head like a blacksmith, hitting his huge harmer on a steal, trying to forge a sharp blade.
Most times, I don't know where to go to. I feel like sleeping, but then, sleep is always my enemy, as my body subconsciously accepted the friendship of insomnia.
The feeling of frustration and less motivation, engulfed me, as I went into a reality that I knowingly created for my self.
Gradually, there was a reduction in my productivity because my brains hyperactivity could not figure out what to do next, and what not to do. Its quite frustrating. Seeing everything happen at once, and I can not do anything, but feel the head ache that came as a result of over thinking.
Personally, I see mindful living as a way of being aware of my surrounding and my self, and not allowing the happenings in my surrounding, affect my activity of daily living.
One day, to distract myself, I decided to scroll through some videos on social media. I came across this one particular video that got helped me relaxed.
It was a video, where a stopwatch was reading, and then, viewers, were asked to test how long they can hold their breath.
I joined the challenge, and I took a very deep breath. Held it in or about two minutes, then I exhaled. I didn't reach the mark I wanted to reach, so, I went again. I did this 5 times, and before I knew it, I was calm. As calm as ice.
Then it dawned on me that the exercise actually worked. This made me research about breathing exercises, and I was able to learn quite a lot.
I tried meditating, but it did not work for me.
To control my thoughts, I will play a calm song, Ylang Ylang - FKJ or weightless by Marconi Union.
While I play either one of these songs, I try as much as possible to relax my muscles, while I monitor my breathing, until I get three breaths in 15 seconds.
While at this, I will start thinking of something else. A good time I had, or I will imagine myself, sitting in a green field with my loved ones. Playing and giggling.
This exercise always helps reduce the voices in my head, as I begin to smile again.
Another thing that aids me control my thoughts, is taking night walks. Its crazy how, when I was a kid, I was scared of night, but now, i find solace and relief when i go for night walks.
I'm still not yet at the top of my game, but at least, to a huge extent, I've got control over my thoughts.
Thank you for reading
The images belong to me
Screenshot was taken from Spotify app