For a while now I've been having thoughts about my life as a Christian, if I really am the religious kinda guy or just an atheist who doesn't know it yet. And this is shocking, even for me because I literally grew up in the church with my family during the years and now, I don't even attend church services anymore.
And if I'm being honest, I feel the reason why it starting to feel like I'm having a crisis with my life as a Christian is because I feel like I was never given the choice to decide on if I wanted to be religious or not, it was just kinda forced on me and I had no choice but to play along. But now that I do have a choice, I'm not trying to just go along with it like I was forced to, instead I'm trying to make myself understand why I have to, because that is the only way I feel that I could be the best version of myself when it comes to religion.
I say this because over here, no one really gives you a choice, it's either you believe in the religion your parents believe in or you're in trouble. And I understand that as a kid, because back then we don't really know what we want or what's right for us, but I feel like when someone gets to a certain age, they should be given some time to really think about what religion they want to believe in or even if they want to be religious at all.
Because to me, no religion is bad religion, we just have people doing bad things, so any one can choose to worship the way they want, with who they want without feeling like they're betraying their family simply because they're choosing something different.
And instead of forcing your child to just follow you and only serve the God you serve without telling them why religion is even important in the first place, you should do better by calling them together (your children) when they've gotten to a certain age, and just carefully and calmly explain to them.
Most of you will be surprised at the response you'd get when you ask your kids their reasons for serving God, why they believe in him?
Their response will probably be "Because it's the right thing to do" but they probably only feel that it's the right thing to do because you (their parent) said so, and the rule of the house is that whatever daddy likes is good.
Now I'm not saying being religious or having a religion is a bad thing, I just feel like people need to have a more personal understanding and reason as to why they choose to believe in God, a purpose.
That reason, is what I've desperately been trying to find myself for a while now, and hopefully I do find it sooner than later, because I want to believe, I just don't know why I should.