You know, when I was young, I thought I'd live my whole life as if I'm living in hell. I was already expecting an unhappy life, full of hatred and sadness back then because I'm not the one in control of my life. But I tried to runaway, ready to drop everything, even that one opportunity in my hand. I'm ready to let it all go and walk on a different path, but I decided to hang in there a little. And it's a good thing I did. I'm glad I didn't let go, and I'm glad that I am still here in the very same place where I made that hardest decision of my life. I'm still here, clinging to it. But this time, I am happier, I am at peace, and I am living a meaningful life.
I never thought that the day would come where I'd be so happy just to stay at home. During high school and college, I prefer to stay at school with my friends and hang out with them. Even though we only talk about crushes, you know those trivial things, those kinds of bonding moments are what really make me happy and excited every school day. I think I'm the only one on my batchmate who's the happiest whenever there's classes, lol. Weekend that time is so boring, without my friends, I feel so alone. Although I can still do fun things when staying at home, the loneliness I felt back then was so much that it wasn't enough to fully make me happy.
But it's different now, my life is really not all that bed of roses. I struggled a lot too, I faced different kinds of problems, I cry, I almost give up, my head is always full of doubt and uncertainty, but I think that's what's making my life more meaningful now. The more I struggled, the more I'd try my best to survive. And you know surviving will always give us a lesson. And you'll realize that everything with which we're struggling right now is also to make us stronger and braver. I think with all these, we'll be brave to face everything head-on. Despite the obstacles that's getting in the way, it won't stop us from moving forward, righty?
So yes, for me, I am living meaningful life. It's not the greatest, but it is so much better now that my heart is full of love and gratitude, I feel so blessed. I am so lucky that in this meaningful life of mine, my family is here with me <(￣︶￣)>. My life now is imperfectly beautiful, it has scars and wounds, but that's like a trophy, a proof of my braveness during the saddest and hardest moment of my life ᕦ⊙෴⊙ᕤ.
