Collins’ Plot: Young love 👦💕👧(Fiction)

in #hive-17079828 days ago

“A-ha! The light bulb just got turned on!” As Collins screamed with joy and jumped around his room, he heard a heavy knock on his door. “What is going on there champ?” Jack, Collins’ father inquired from the other side of the door. “Nothing Dad,” he replied, hoping that would be enough to keep his father out of his business.

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Like a prayer answered, Jack seemed to have other things he had to do and got less interested in Collins’ matter. “Okay then, please keep it down a little bit okay?” Jack said.

With a big sigh of relief, Collins replied “Okay dad.” Like an accused who had just escaped being punished, Collins was happy his father didn’t find out what was really happening. “Now it’s time to approach my mum,” he said to himself.

Collins had always been a brilliant boy. As a college student in his teenage years, he had topped his class for years and had always gotten some fulfillment in this. However, he started having a different craving which he knew his mother had warned him about.

Claire is a very beautiful young lady in the same class as Collins. They grew up together and have been friends for a long time. As a young lad, Grace, Collins’ mother had always told him to be serious with his studies and to avoid every distraction. Like every obedient son, Collins had always followed his mother’s advice until he started having a strange feeling.

Collins had never attended prom and he knew his mother may not allow him. He had tried seeing if he could approach her through his father because he seems to be more lenient but he discovered that may not work either. “Loving husbands always support their wives,” he had come to realize.

“Love? Like seriously?” Collins was shocked to discover that what he felt as a strange feeling seems to be interpreted as love. He has an uncle who visits them frequently.

Uncle Joe, as he fondly calls him is a very friendly person with whom Collins seems to share all his feelings. As his father’s junior brother and a single at that, Joe is Collins’ gist mate, they talk about almost anything and everything.

“What you just expressed on how you feel about Claire is love, Collins.” Like a man very confident about his discovery, Joe was sure of his statement. “How can you say such a thing Uncle Joe, you better don’t let my mum hear this, she may not like it,” Collins replied.

“She may not like what exactly? Help me understand.” Joe inquired as he adjusted his seat, trying to understand Collin’s point of view. “She had warned me never to get distracted from my studies and I can’t quite find a way to convince her that I am still focused on my studies if I bring up anything about love talk less of prom,” Collins replied.

“Prom? I think I am beginning to agree with your mum already. You only talked about your feelings, I never knew there was prom.” Joe said sarcastically. “I’ll advise you to take a step at a time. Confirm your feelings first. You are almost eighteen. You’ll just need some guidance and I will always be here for you. But as for telling your mother, you’ll have to figure that out.”

As Joe concluded his words, like pain relief, Collins felt some peace but wasn’t comfortable. “Figure out telling my mother? How?” As he ruminated on his thoughts, he knew he had to find a way to convince his mother so he would be allowed to not just go to prom but also take his date along.

Claire’s mother had always been a close friend of Collins' family. Her dad wasn’t always around so he wasn’t really close to them. Just as Joe advised Collins, he asked Claire out to be his prom date.

“Are you sure this is you? Or you are just trying to be someone else just to feel among?” Were the words of Claire in response to his prom proposal.

“I think I have made a wrong choice.”As Collins said to himself and was about to turn and give up. “Okay, I like you too, but are you sure about this?”Claire replied. Collins nodded affirming his confidence.

As Collins ruminated in his room on what he had to do to get his mother to agree, the a-ha moment came as he came up with a plot and that was when Jack had earlier interrupted him. As Collins made plans to approach his mom, he looked up and said “God, please let this work.”

Just like a scene he had already planned, Collins stepped out of his room and it seemed the universe had been in his favor. Claire’s mom came visiting and she was having a conversation with his mom.

Just as Collins had imagined, his plot was to approach his mother while Claire’s mother was present. Although it doesn’t look like a good idea he was willing to give it a shot, the worst he was going to get was a no. “My mother’s love is unwavering and I can always console myself with that even if she says no,” he said to himself.

“Good day, my boy how are you?” Claire’s mother came calling. “I am fine ma, thank you,” Collins replied. Like a man on a mission he quickly faced his mom. “Please, there is something I need to ask you, Mum.” His mother turned and gave him a look which can only be interpreted as “at least let the visitor leave.”

Before he could leave the scene in disappointment, Claire’s mother interrupted the whole drama. “I even forgot, Claire told me he and Collins are planning on going to prom together. Has he told you yet?” Before his mom could reply, Collins jumped in. “I was just about asking if you would allow me to go, mom?”

Grace smiled seeing the game her son was trying to play. “I knew that was why you were moving around the corner.” She said. “All work and no play, you know what they say, Mom,” Collins said. “Okay, you can go. We’ll talk about other preparations later,” his mother concluded.

Collins couldn’t believe that his plans would work. It seemed as if the universe had set the stage for all to work in his favor. As he entered his room, he wanted to jump in excitement but remembered his dad was around as he had earlier been cautioned to keep things down. He hugged his pillow tightly and happily as he fantasized about what prom would look like.

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Many of us have not been to prom too 😂. I enjoyed reason through, good story man.

@offia66 thank you for your comment 😄😄I'm glad you got the feeling..

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It's obvious Collins was having one of those day when everything seems to be going right for him.

@trexane exactly.. thank you for your comment.

A sweet story, @samiwrites. I loved the picture you created of Collins jumping round his room at the start and hugging his pillow at the end. The uncle shifting in his chair was a great image too! Keep integrating more of this show don't tell approach, and look to incorporate more sensory responses into the piece. So, not just telling us through dialogue that Collins asked Claire to Prom but showing us his nervous state; his apprehension, the way he looks at her. Also show us Claire response: how she moves, talks, responds. Share their emotions through visuals related to the senses. Take a look at this article Show, Don't Tell and try to incorporate some more of these ideas into your next submission. Be careful of of thing: you tend not to leave a space between your dialogue and the next sentence.

@theinkwell thank you so much for your comment and recommendations. I just checked out the piece you recommended I'll apply the show don't tell idea in my next write up. Thank you so much.🙏🙏🙏