Today, I have gotten to understand the need for boundaries due to recent activities at my place. I am the kind of person who loves space a lot. There is nothing that I love more than having that time of being in a space of solitude and away from people. This is always the time I used to bring myself together and put my head straight before going out towards my daily tasks or mixing up with people.
But recently, I noticed I have not made my boundaries clear, or maybe I had a little brough down my boundaries because of how much I felt I was close to this person. Not that the person did anything bad or say, it is just about me personality and the space I need to clear my head and reflect.
I can remember the reason why I chose to live alone; it was because I noticed the issues I faced with not having enough space or solitude to think things straight. So most of the time, I prefer when people tell me when they are coming around before visiting because it is not every time I am always in the mood of having visitors.
When this happens, I don't go mad with the person; I try to tolerate it at first and then let the person know later what I want how I want it.
The Story
So a friend of mine asked me if he needed to work on a job he had for someone and also said that he would also want to use the opportunity to do a job for me that I had requested him to do for me as a birthday gift on my birthday on January. I had even forgotten about it, or do not even have much need for it like I did then.
I didn't ask for it again; he brought it up as one of the reasons why he was coming around. I allowed him to come, as we had initially agreed he would stay 3 days at my side so that he could finish up with his job and maybe get to do mine. That was how 3 days became 5 days and then 7 days.
I found it hard to follow my morning routines, not because I don't want to, but because I lose my will to do so. Not my friend's fault; he did nothing. It is more of my system to how I would love to do my things. Even during the day, I get highly distracted because most times I always prefer not to have anyone around me so I can enter deep work mode, but it is always difficult when someone is in my space.
The funniest part of it is that my friend likes listening to sermons, music or something through bluetooth speaker. And I am the type that most times prefers silence. So it became very difficult to concentrate or do the things I wanted to do, to reflect and plan. I just had to endure everything till he left because I wanted to travel for a day.
My Response
I had to send him a text appreciating his visit and how I would prefer it if he told me how long he would like to come to my side next time and that we adhere to that agreement. This is necessary because I would have planned myself to attain visitors for the time period.
this is the exact text sent:
Hey brother! it was a great time having you around this past week. Thanks for the prayers and spiritual building ❤️.
I would really appreciate if your visits next time is within the day and not having to stay through the next day. If at all there is need to sleep over, I would prefer that it be well informed beforehand and we have it defined to the initial agreement. Thanks once again brother!