I had come back home from school that day to learn that a young boy, about my age, had insulted my big brother. He was a neighbour. I was furious.
There's this thing about my household, we never ever let anyone disrespect us. But it gets worse if it's an elder one(like if someone my age disrespects my elder). That day, while my brother narrated the whole incident to me, I swore I was going to deal with the said guy. I planned to beat him blue-black. It hurt me that my big brother did not even as much as lay a finger on him.
I did not know that my father overheard our discussion. He called us into the living room and asked for details and when we narrated, he asked me, "what did you say that you would do to the boy?:
I was startled at first, cause i didnt know that he had heard me. My parents stood against violence on any level, but, I told him I would beat the guy, and my dad asked, "What if you beat him and he faints or you push him and he falls to the ground, hits his head somewhere and never gets up again?"
I kept silent.
He continued, "my father used to tell us that the man you consider weak is the one that'll show you where the strong man is buried. Physical strength is not a show of strength....."
He went on to tell us stories. My father tells the best stories. He's not the kind to engage in squabbles. A peacemaker and a calm human even in turbulent times, is who he is.
For what he said, not to disobey him, I let go of my plans but I fumed whenever I crossed paths with the boy.
until the day his advise resounded in my head.
As much as they say that I am a replica of my dad, which I agree to, it took an incident for that lesson he taught myself and my brothers to stick.
We were out playing football. I was in senior high school. This guy had played 'foul' plus, he was rough on the field. I told him to tone it down a little, particularly because he had stepped on me with his football boots and the pain had shot in my brain.
Rather than apologize or do the regular bant thing that guys would do, he started to scream at me, hauling words. The other guys tried to correct him but he fired at them. At first, I ignored. And maybe my indifference to him infuriated him so much, he walked over to where I was, talking and talking. I didn't even know when I began firing back at him. Next thing, he slapped me on my chest and it hurt. Out of annoyance, I did same, too.
You know what?
He took steps backward and next I knew, he was flat on the floor.
At first, I thought he was acting, but when a second went by and he hadn't flinched and the other guys went over to him shaking him, fear gripped me. It was like scales fell off my eyes.
All that ran through my head in that moment were my father's warnings. In my head, 'I had killed someone.' I began to think of how I'd go to jail, how disappointed my parents would be, how I'd damaged my life. I blamed myself for not keeping up with ignoring the guy. It would have been only a while before he hot tired of cussing me and backed off. And none of the unfortunate incidents had I was in could have happened. I did not know when I started to shake and cry.
He was taken up and rushed to the hospital. Luckily, they were able to restore and stabilize him. From what was said, he had some ailment. My parents were summoned just as soon.
My parents were told to take me home and caution me and they covered for the boy's hospital bill.
Back at home, my mum was very furious with me. My dad maintained his cool but i knew he was both disappointed and angry. Early morning of the next day, right after our morning devotion,he began to counsel me(us). He said, again, "the man who has mastered the act of self control is king. Anger is rabid. It overcomes your senses at that time and only leaves you when you have done damages that are beyond repair. And then, only then do you wish you had just ignored and walked away."
That lesson? Those wise words??
I could never forget!
Thanks for stopping by.
SOKA🖤
Wes & Grindan