Nancy’s heart palpitated as the doctor rubbed a cold clear gel on her belly. She was already seven months in and it hadn't been an easy journey. Especially because the child she was carrying was not for her. She looked at the couple sitted beside her bed. She noticed the way they gripped each other's hands tightly and she fisted the white bedsheets in her hands. She was anxious and all she could do was let hope run through her. The doctor finally placed the ultrasound transducer on her belly and moved it around and they all looked at the screen. When the image of the baby appeared on the screen, she felt warmth course through her. She could see the grins on Luke and Stella’s face. A life was inside her and now, the life just had to fit into the criteria the couple wanted.
“Okay, so here's an ultrasound image of your baby. You can see it's tiny movements. Right here is it's legs and it's hands.” The doctor said as he pointed out details in the scan.
“So, what's the gender, doctor?” Luke went straight to the question without beating round the bush.
“Hmmm, from this scan, the baby seems to be a female.” As the doctor said this, Nancy's head drooped a little and the warmth she had been feeling, fled. She peeked at the couple and could see frowns tugging where smiles had been.
The doctor, as if noticing the tension that had set into the room quickly added, “We can't be too sure yet. Sometimes, the scan could be wrong. We have had situations like that.”
The couple nodded but she knew this was not what they wanted to hear at all. She wondered why the doctor had not just said the baby was a male if he wasn't too sure about the gender. That means he was sure.
After she changed from the hospital gown, she trailed silently behind the couple as they left the hospital. She wringed her hands over and over again. They finally got to where their car was parked and they both turned to her. She looked at them hopefully.
“I'm so sorry, Nancy. But, we want a boy.” Luke said in a dejected tone.
“A boy, a girl, what does it matter? It's your child.” Nancy replied, looking at the both of them.
“You would not understand. The thing is we can't accept the baby. We made an agreement and you couldn't fulfill your part of it.” Stella said coldly.
“So, what am I meant to do with her? I'm not ready to care for a baby. I don't know how to. I don't even have the finances to. And i need the money you were supposed to pay me.” Nancy lamented.
“We will support you throughout the journey, that's if you decide to keep the baby. We will pay the hospital bills and any other bill that might come up. And we will also pay you for your time and the stress you have been through. But, it's left for you to do what you will with the child. We are sorry you have to go through this.” Luke said, then continued, “Please, send your bank details to me when you can. And we will also need to go to the court, so that we can relinquish legal rights of the child to you.”
He wrapped an arm comfortingly around Stella and led her into the car. Nancy watched them go and felt the tears brimming in her eyes. A teardrop slid down her cheeks and landed on her shirt. She looked down at her belly, then placed her hands gently on it. What was she going to do?
Nancy took a taxi to the hospital where her mother was admitted to. Her mother had been battling with lung cancer for a year now. The doctors had said she was going to need a transplant if she was going to survive the cancer and it was still a 50-50 chance. But Nancy couldn't afford the transplant. So, when she saw the advert for a surrogate mother who would be paid a million dollars, she had signed up for it. That was how she had got to carry Luke and Stella's baby. Her mother had been against it from the onset, but Nancy had gone ahead anyway. She couldn't lose her mother. She wondered if the couple would still pay the assigned fee, even though it was a girl.
Nancy entered her mother's hospital ward. Her mother was sitted upright with pillows supporting her. She held a cup of tea in her hands and when she looked at Nancy, she smiled weakly. When Nancy drew closer, she dropped her coffee on the table beside her desk, then took Nancy's hands in hers as she sat down.
“How was it?” Nancy's mother asked.
Nancy smiled sadly, then shook her head. “It wasn't the gender they wanted. They said they wouldn't accept the baby, mum. What am I going to do?” Tears dripped down Nancy's cheeks.
“Nancy…” Her mother called. But Nancy's shoulders kept shuddering as she sobbed.
“Nancy!” Her mother snapped and Nancy's sobs reduced. “You need to get a hold of yourself. This baby is not the end of your life, you hear me? This baby is not the end of the world. You will be surprised at how you might feel when the baby finally arrives.”
Nancy looked at her mother through blurry tears and shook her head. “No, mum. I don't think I want to keep the baby. I don't want her to feel unloved or feel alone in this world.”
“Well, pity you can't get rid of the baby. You are already seven months in. It would be a death sentence to try it. So, here's what you will do. You will keep this baby and you will give birth to her. Let's see what will happen from there, hmm?” Her mother squeezed her hands gently and Nancy nodded in response.
At the court, Nancy had watched the couple go methodically sign the documents. She watched as the lawyer told them hie they wouidn’t have any rights over the child if they went through with this. She watched them nod their head in response. She wondered why they wanted a boy so badly that they had to let go of their unborn baby girl. They hadn't even waited to see if they would love her after she was born. Just there and then, Nancy made a promise to love the baby with her whole life. She was not going to abandon it. She was never going to make her feel unwanted or unloved. It was going to be the two of them against the world. Nancy wrapped her hands protectively round her baby.
Nancy was at an antenatal session when she received a call from her mother. When she heard her mother's voice, she knew there was something different.
“Nancy, I don't think i want to go through with the transplant. The doctors said it's a 50-50 chance of me surviving it. I don't think I'm ready for the pain or the anguish. I think I just want to live in peace, knowing I lived a fulfilled life when I die. I need you to promise me that you won't force me to do the transplant. Promise me.”
Nancy sniffled and wiped her eyes. She nodded in response, even though she knew her mother could not see her. Then she let out a choked sob and said, “Yes, mum. I promise."
A month later, Nancy went into labor. Seven hours later, she gave birth to a lovely girl whose screams almost tore the hospital down. As she held the baby in her hands and cooed at her gently, she stopped screaming and started making gurgling sounds. Nancy’s eyes connected with the baby’s and in that moment, Nancy knew she had made the right decision to love this baby. This baby had wrapped itself round her heart and Nancy knew she would never let go.
A week later, Nancy took the baby to see her mother at home. She had taken her mother out of hospital care, as that was what her mother wanted. Her mother was sitted in a rocking chair when Nancy came. Her mother took the baby in her arms.
“How do you feel about her now? Do you still want to abandon her?” Her mother asked in hoarse voice.
Nancy smiled knowingly, “No, mum. I'm sure you knew I would want to keep her.”
Her mum smiled back. “So, what do you want to name her?”
“I settled on the name Lovelyn.” Nancy replied.
“Suits her.” Her mother said as she took in the details of Lovelyn’s face. Her soft baby skin, her little glistening curls, her cupid bow lips and her closed eyes. “Let me just hold her for a little while.” Her mother pleaded, as she rocked Lovelyn back and forth.
“Alright, mum. I will just make dinner for all of us.” Nancy said and went inside. Her mother's response was rocking back and forth.
When Nancy came back out, the evening sky was painted in shades of orange and red. The sun was already below the horizon and a gentle breeze weaved gently through the ixora flowers that were planted on her mother's porch. Lovelyn was awake now and she was tugging on her grandmother’s blouse but Nancy's mother's eyes remained close in a peaceful sleep. Nancy didn't need to come closer before she knew that her mother had died. Nancy took Lovelyn from her mother's hands and held Lovelyn close to her bosom as gentle tears washed down her cheeks.
She wasn't mourning at all. They were happy tears. Her mother had died peacefully. And even if her mother was gone, she got Lovelyn in return. She wasn't alone. Her mother was now the gentle breeze that caressed her cheeks. Her mother was now the beautiful colors of the evening sky. Her mother was now at peace.
All images are mine.
