Academically, studying educational and book-related courses is one vital way to succeed and being in the act department requires more of reading historical, literature and current affairs.
I can't credit myself as the top of the class and that's because I am not. Am an average student who reads to pass. However, during my per-degree program at an affiliate, I was required to read more to pass. I took studying seriously and read at any given time, to the point that my soliloquizing side was a little affected by it whereby I brought the medieval or classical dramas that I read to life, all played in my mind.
I was so certain I would pass the exams when they came, right there in the examination hall I wrote to the best of my capacity and submitted it. My course lecturer was allowed into the hall for the sake of those who bribed their way out. When he saw my script, he was pleased. I could tell, Id knows I gave detailed information on the 18 letters of “Dennis Vincent Brutus” Letter To Martha.
It was more like knowing what you wrote could earn you a perfect grade. I didn't even put my hopes high to that extent, at least a “C” was what I expected, and probably an “E” would have been very much appreciated to an “F”. It was like, my sight was blurry at the time the result came out. I couldn't believe it and couldn't hold back screaming at the secretary in charge. I believed that wasn't my result and demanded to see the superior charge in my center.
It took me almost a week to meet with him, at that moment I explained to him about the mix-up with my result and requested to see the soft copy. There I noticed about five other persons who bore the same name as me. The results carrying mine were just like the hard copy at hand.
I still refused believing those marks belonged to me and pressed on, this time requesting my scripts.
Unfortunately, it was an affiliate center, having its main university in Zaria, one of the cities across my nation. The distance from my state to the headquarters would probably take a day by road transport to arrive there and some fortune, not to talk more about going by air. Besides, I knew no one there, not a friend or relative and definitely would be a bad idea since all the angles guarding it point negative.
I settled for the last option by writing it, sitting down in front of the superior in charge and answering all the questions from my copy of the question sheet handed during the exams. Everyone viewed me as crazy and I couldn't even care because I was adamant about getting my real scores.
Long story short, it was still rewarded as wasted effort. I didn't know if the superior understood what he read from my answer sheet since he refused to call the lecturer in charge of that course for clarification. After about a minute or two of staring at my answer booklet, it ended with the word “Sorry, there is absolutely nothing I could do to change it”
At that point, it was a total failure. If I couldn't defend my script, then I am useless (words I told myself). I had it bad, you know. But then I braced up and accepted it as it was. At first, I felt like a failure for giving up on something I had so much effort into but then I asked myself “What is a voice without power?”.
It was difficult accepting a result that was probably not mine but I did accept it because it was the first step into putting myself at peace. I believed it was a phrase that would pass(and that it already did). And I look forward to working harder not just academically but in another aspect too. I decided to pull up a positive mind which added to my goal pursuit.
These didn't change my result but they kept me focused and at peace and that's how it has always been with every challenge that has at some point felt defeated. Reacting the opposite of how a defeated man should be has always been my way of pulling through and am grateful for the strength.
Images Are Mine
)