I broke up with a boyfriend because of this.
We were both young, dumb, and broke students that met each other and fell in love for the wrong reasons. During the course of this "relationship," if you can call it that, things were mostly peaceful and calm.
We had our usual ups and downs, and we weren’t the best at conflict resolution, so things were bound to get heated from time to time, and they did. This was one of the times.
One day he was out of cash and told me to lend him some and that he would pay me double of it by the end of the month. Now, when it comes to lending out cash, I used to be sensitive and particular about it, which was before I learnt my lesson.
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I remember asking him the particular date I should receive my money back, and he said the last day of the month. I agreed and gave him the money. It was almost like after he borrowed the money, things became better between us; everything seemed rosy, and I was happy.
Eventually the end of the month rolled by, and he didn’t make a mention of the money. I was confused and decided to give him some time, thinking that maybe he was still quite low on cash. But then we began approaching the middle of the next month, and still this man hadn’t brought the money.
So I decided to bring it up instead. I asked him squarely, without sugarcoating it, if he planned on refunding me and when exactly. Remember the part where I said we were broke? Yeah, my wallet was dry, and I literally didn’t have cash to feed for the next day.
He then acted like he forgot and told me that he would give me the money. I told him I needed it that afternoon. He then got irritated and angry; he asked me why I would ask him for money so abruptly and expect that he had it. That if he had it, he would have given it to me.
This pissed me the hell off. First off, I wasn’t supposed to be the one reminding him of something as crucial as this. Secondly, he had absolutely no right to be angry because he was the one at fault; if he had given me my money, we wouldn’t be here.
So I told him all of this. Homeboy vexed and gave me half of the money—half being the exact amount I gave to him, excluding the doubling he promised. I asked for the other half, and he stood up and left.
He never gave me the rest, and amidst other red flags, I chose that this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. I called the relationship off, and we went our separate ways.
Somewhere along the line of me living life and going through experiences, I made the subconscious decision to never owe people money. If I borrowed money from someone, I would typically give a date as to when I’ll pay back, and if for whatever reason I wasn’t able to pay back, I would reach out to the person and let them know and probably give them a new date.
What I will not do is ask for money and then abscond. It makes no sense; we are all adults, and we need to act like it, especially when it comes to something as sensitive as money.
If I were to lend a person money, I would also ask them for a date I should expect my cash back. And if after that day, they start acting funny, I’ll leave them, knowing that that’s the last time it will ever happen.
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