On We Go

I'm trying to write a new book to share the information, therapies and practices that I used to fully recover from anxiety, depression and addiction.

The "process", if you will.

The "How To" of Perfect: An alternative perspective on mental health & addiction.

 

 

I've spent some years trying to figure out whether I'm an artist, an activist or a recovery coach...

but what I've come to understand is that these are, at the end of the day, all the same thing.

And that we may never achieve our full potential personally, and possibly fix some of the problems we face in our communities, unless we address both our own struggles and those of the world at large...

in unison.

By this I mean both together in community and holistically as our individual selves.

Because they are intrinsically linked, you see. And both of them impact our health and lives.

What I'm trying to explain is that without addressing the environmental causes of our distress, we will only be able to manage the symptoms forever.

We will never be able to heal anything permanently, until we change the environments that are causing the distress, in other and more words.

It seems an impossible problem to resolve at this point.

Doesn't it?

 

 

Imagine

 
I strongly believe that healing the individual will heal our communities.

It begins with each of us. And as each individual becomes healthy and strong enough to live successfully, it might change the way that we live together as a whole.

In fact... I know it will.

But we also cannot heal as individuals without having some pretty scary conversations about our social structures and systems.

This is a part of the famous "Shadow Work" that Jung suggested right from the beginning.

And my goal is to take you on a journey, through your own unconscious, to try to help you find more of yourself.

The who that you authentically are.

And, hopefully, more freedom for the you that you are, as a result.

I'm not sure whether it will work...

but it should be quite an adventure anyway!

 

 

I return, again and again, to a conversation with a brilliant mind in the field of psychology, James Hillman.

 

Hillman: I'm not critical of the people who do psychotherapy. The therapists in the trenches have to face an awful lot of the social, political, and economic failures of capitalism. They have to take care of all the rejects and failures. They are sincere and work hard with very little credit, and the HMOs and the pharmaceutical companies and insurance companies are trying to wipe them out. So certainly I am not attacking them. I am attacking the theories of psychotherapy. You don't attack the grunts of Vietnam; you blame the theory behind the war. Nobody who fought in that war was at fault. It was the war itself that was at fault. It's the same thing with psychotherapy. It makes every problem a subjective, inner problem. And that's not where the problems come from. They come from the environment, the cities, the economy, the racism. They come from architecture, school systems, capitalism, exploitation. They come from many places that psychotherapy does not address. Psychotherapy theory turns it all on you: you are the one who is wrong. What I'm trying to say is that, if a kid is having trouble or is discouraged, the problem is not just inside the kid; it's also in the system, the society.

London: You can't fix the person without fixing the society.

 
With our current lifestyles and the pressure to stay afloat... none of us have the strength or the time to address the issues in our environments that may very well be the exact cause of our personal challenges.

Instead we tread water, trying to survive.

And we try to manage the symptoms.

We take a short holiday once a year. If we're lucky. We don't have enough time to raise our own children. And when we do spend time with them, we're often so stressed that we aren't able to be fully present for them anyway.

We use substances, prescribed meds and addictive behaviours to manage our lives.

Our children fall through the cracks of the pace we must consistently maintain to maintain the status quo. Our anxious, depressed and often addicted children because there is no longer a village to support us. Any of us..

And so we diagnose and medicated ourselves and our children next. So that they can keep up the pace. So that we can keep up the pace...

while only alleviating the symptoms that are a direct result of the situation we find ourselves in.

It bears repeating.

Because the cycle will keep on repeating...

unless we change ourselves.

 

 

I've found a way to alleviate those symptoms permanently, despite my external environment. And I don't believe, one iota, that I am any different to anyone else.

Which must make this possible for you and your loved ones too.

What I have met with, while trying to share the information and tools that I discovered, is disbelief or outright sabotage from the general public, total resistance from mainstream professionals and facilities to engage, and even some abuse to try and keep me silent.

I've now come to the conclusion that the most effective way to present this experience to you, is to simply write a story that illustrates the theories, philosophies, connections and action based skills I used on my journey.

Perhaps this may also help some of you create a life that's more in line with your "soul calling".

And perhaps this may also bring you more joy and peace, permanently, in what has now become an extremely competitive, acrimonious and stressful world.

But... (and here's the but)...

we can not keep ignoring the causes of our challenges if we want to achieve any kind of lasting stability and peace. As individuals.

We must also have a look at some of the causes of our reactions, which are a result of our environments.

So yes. To be fully individuated and free...

we all have to be artists, activists and in recovery for the challenges that past generations endured.

Because we must all achieve healthy individuation to succeed as communities.

I believe this is the best way forward now.

 

 

But I don't want to put people off with psychological jargon. I'd invite you, instead, to come on an experiential journey with me.

At the very least, it may be entertaining for both of us.

 

 

On a more personal note, I'm at the end of the road myself with regards to my passion projects.

It's not for laziness or lack of work and trying. #truestory

I'm still very single and not very well. A "soft target" in the society in which I (try) to live. And I keep being targeted and hustled and hurt. My health is not good. My finances are not good. My social support is not good.

And I'm exhausted now, in all honesty.

The worst part of this is that every time I begin to thrive again the more it seems to threaten the less healed humans I run into.

And the kickback ends up destroying a lot of my hard work to progress. This is the society we have created. It's no wonder half the people on the planet can't get through a day without some chemical assistance. No mystery there at all.

Also... I got hustled again. Twice! There are some very feral people running around now. I think it may even get worse before it gets better.

Yeah. I'm exhausted now.

But sober and calm af.

And these are the skills I am trying to share with you.

 

 

Right now I need your help, please, or I need to abandon this project and return to full time employment. For which C.V.s have already been sent out.

"Life" happened (again) and I'm just too tired to keep treading water, resisting the onslaught of what feels alarmingly like a zombie apocalypse over here, and juggling my interests and adult responsibilities.

Bit much for a sick single mama bear.

I'll let the proverbial chips fall where they may.

Or...

please consider a once off donation...to help me bring this to you?

Donations now closed with thanks to those who shared. And much love always. <3

 

My list of needs right now:

1. R5k for a preventative procedure for a could end up cancer thing.

2. Regular income to afford me creative time to produce this (possible) program. Can be half day work or via monthly memberships when up and running. I live simply and need very little, these days. #justsayin'

3. Safe accommodation, that I can afford, within a 300km radius of Cape Town. R4500 max rent, including elec and uncapped wifi. Simple is more than fine. Happy to exchange free recovery guidance and / or tech skills as an exchange for rent.

4. I have COPD. Yeah... it's a lot, innit? :) So calm and peaceful situations are vital, please. I make light of it because I'm pretty fearless, these days, but it's quite serious.

5. Some legal guidance backup would be helpful and probably wise because (I think we all know now, that...) any not so healthy system or individual will smear; accuse; threaten - in order to discredit and isolate folks who are too curious

 

 

That's all. I don't need much any more to be completely happy. And happily sober. Mentally titanium. Despite anything that ĺife may present me with. Honestly. Not even a craving or desire anymore. For multiple years now. No more "BiPolar" whatever...

under still extremely stressful circumstances at times.

And I'm not any different to anybody else out there, which must mean that what I've discovered and put into action will work for other people too.

 

"That's Logic!" - Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

 

But I can't afford, in any way, to do this alone anymore now.

So please say hello or participate with a share or donation to support this project.

With Love, To Life and Always for Truth,

Nicky

 

_{Advocating radical sobriety, authentic individuation and personal freedom}

_and

P.L.U.R ^{always ❤️}

_{Say hello: nicky.dee.za@gmail.com}

 

_{Some of the journey}

_{THIS is Perfect}

 

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^{I finally drummed up enough courage to ask for a day or two's leave to attend AfrikaBurn back in 2009} https://peakd.com/afrikaburn/@nickydee/into-the-desert

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^{I found the camp on the far side, outer ring of the event. Sweaty and already a bit dusty, I jumped out of the car} https://peakd.com/hive-155530/@nickydee/walking-the-desert

Shout Out for past donations - and donations now closed

 
@corvidae ; @atma.love ; @julianhorack

Sending massive love and gratitude for your generosity of spirit. It's not only that, but your belief in me that keeps me keeping on. Just thank you. Sincerely ❤️
 

Here’s to the was you been, to the is you in
To what’s deep and deep, to what’s down and down
To the lost, and the blind, and the almost found.
_{Shout Out - Seku Sundiata}

_{Images not directly sourced are my own}