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For if a person shifts their caution to their own reasoned choices and the acts of those choices, they will at the same time gain the will to avoid, but if they shift their caution away from their own reasoned choices to things not under their control, seeking to avoid what is controlled by others, they will then be agitated, fearful, and unstable. - Epictetus
Before I learned about Stoicism, I pictured stoic philosophers as stone-faced ascetics who secluded themselves from the world. Alternatively, I envisioned them sitting atop mountains, dispensing words of wisdom to any seeker willing to make the climb. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Unlike monks from other spiritual traditions, Stoics believed their place was in the world.
Marcus Aurelius and Seneca were two of the most famous Stoic philosophers, and they lived their entire lives deeply engaged in society. Marcus Aurelius was Rome’s greatest emperor, while Seneca was a statesman and a dramatist. Instead of hiding in a monastery, they wielded wealth and power, leading full lives, loving, and sharing their wisdom with others. This is what sets Stoicism apart from other philosophical and spiritual traditions. They see themselves as boxers battling in the ring of life.
To a Stoic, running away to a monastery is akin to fleeing from one's problems. The perspective that spirituality provides an escape from life's challenges, or that philosophy can make difficulties disappear, is naive. It’s not the problems that make life difficult; it’s the way you choose to look at them.
Life’s challenges to a Stoic are like weights to a bodybuilder. The Stoic aims to be a master of living, considering challenges and difficulties as what makes life interesting. Without them, it’s impossible to forge a strong spirit, just as a bodybuilder couldn't build strength without weights.
Epictetus is reminding us in his quote that steadiness and inner peace result from our judgments about external events. If you seek to evade disruptions - other people and uncomfortable events - your problems will follow you, and you’ll never find success. Many people attempt to escape their problems by changing their environment. The problem is – wherever you go, there you are.
5 Tips for embracing life's challenges
Accept the things you can't change: Understand that some stuff in life isn't under your control, and that's okay. When facing challenges, remember that the situations themselves aren't good or bad; how you react matters.
Look inside for strength: Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Even when things around you seem out of control, remember you have control over how you respond.
See the big picture: Think about challenges in the context of your whole life. Know that tough times won't last forever, and they're like puzzle pieces helping you grow.
Stay in the moment: Focus on what's happening right now. Don't let your mind get stuck in the past or worry too much about the future during tough times.
Learn and get stronger: Treat challenges as opportunities to learn. Use tough situations as chances to become a stronger, wiser person.
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