What a coincidence @hivenaija to bring up this very topic of abusive relationships and it's related cases. I had a conversation with a victim who turned out to be like a big sister to me and trust me when I tell you, she was grateful she left with her life.
In her words, "My dear, it was hard to leave but I thank the Lord for His vindication". The hurtful part of this domestic violence is that it is mostly done by the person that once professed love to the victim. Yes, I'm hitting at the violence in homes these days. I mean, how can you say you love me and still hit me, disrespect, disregard and embarrass me?...
I'll let that question hang in the air and in the minds of those that keep living a lie in relationships. If someone's daughter or son isn't giving you that joy you seek, why not walk out? Why abuse and violate the person's right?
Back to the prompt on the table, "Abuse and my views on it".
Firstly, what's abuse? This is simply the infringement of one's freewill or the violation of a person's existence. Abuse can either occur as verbal or physical (very rampart nowadays) which can lead to loss of self-esteem, life or even one's emotional abilities.
Why do people find it hard to walk out of abusive relationships?
There are like a million factors that may cause this but it all boils down to the victims way of thinking. What do I mean? I'll give an example.
A young lady courted a man and they did this till it led to the man asking the lady to be his wife. He has been nice and loving and caring to her. The lady's father talks to her and tells her not to come back when matters begin to arise in the marriage since she specifically wants that man that has proposed to her.
She marries this said man and he begins to molest her. She can't say a thing because of the ringing voice of her dad in her head. She endures and prays for a change but the more hits she receives.
In the scenario above, factors making her stay are;
• She courted this man and he lived a lie all through the process till it ended in marriage.
• She can't go back after the first, second and now numerous hits from her husband because her daddy said she will have to be tolerant.
• She is now a mother because after the physical abuse he still molests her sexually thus making her a pregnant punching bag. She can't leave her kids and she can't go with them because the father won't allow it.
• Apart from all of these, she solely believes in change. This is the deceptive thought that keeps her, that makes her accept all that's coming to her.
These are just few of the many factors that may cause a victim to stay back. We haven't even talked of the public view that she will be tagged a divorcee, if she eventually leaves alive.
What can be done to curtail all these violence?
Let's be our brother's keeper. Please, don't quote me wrong as this may seem like I'm talking based on the Christian doctrine but then, if we are not humane enough to be conscious of how people will be affected by our bad actions then we shouldn't be called humans at all.
Let's put ourselves in the shoes of a potential victim. "How would I feel if I were the one?". When we begin to think like this, we'll be able to rephrase our steps and live better casualty-free lives.
Let's bring back that charity that began from home, only the unhurtful ones
Greetings hivenaija. It's Good Friday today and in few hours, Easter will be celebrated. To all that reads this post, KEEP MY RICE 😂
......peace and love✌❤.
