Abuse means to treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly. Also, looking at the definition of domestic abuse also known as domestic violence or intimate partner violence — means a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.
According to the two definitions above, we will see that “Abuse” is a bad thing and supposed not to be experienced by anyone (man or woman). It is not limited to women only, men also get abused. Many don’t just say it out. Now over to my take on domestic violence.
I have been an eye witness where domestic violence occurred and I can boldly say that, it’s not a good thing to behold especially when it happens right in front of the kids. The way it affected the victims involved is also proportional to the emotional and psychological damage it caused to the children.
These past days has been the story of the Gospel artist who lost her existence as a result of domestic abuse, in person of Osinachi Nwachukwu and a lot of questions and opinions were flying around the incident by the netizen saying “why couldn’t she leave?”, “she could have filed for a divorce” why has she chosen her life over her marriage?” all these and lots more. Well, now she’s dead and in her grave with the reason, genuine or not on why she choose to stay put in her marriage. It’s such a sad new tho. May her soul rest in perfect peace.
Now to us that are still present here on earth, should there be a reason why we need to remain in an abusive relationship or marriage? Personally, I no fit stay in an abusive relationship let alone taking a further step for the relationship to land me in marriage because once it’s in marriage, it might be difficult to leave. Remember I said I’ve been a witness before and most common saying by those victims in an abusive marriage is “I don’t want to leave because of my children”. Whereas, if it eventually leads to death, those children will be left behind in the hands of families or strangers and we all know the Yoruba saying, that “se bi Iya ko le da bi Iya” (He who acts like a mother can not be like a mother).
Finding oneself in an abusive relationship might not be our fault but dying in it is the person’s fault. We all have a choice to make (either to leave or stay). Nobody’s worth sacrificing our life for, Jesus sacrificed His life for us already. We need to stop thinking about what will the world say and start thinking about ourselves. Value yourself, love and respect yourself. You are the one wearing the shoe and knows where it hurts the most.
For those in an abusive relationship, this is the best time to quit the relationship, don’t say s(he) will change when we get married. My dear! That’s a lie from the pit of hell. It is not your duty to change him/her, you are meant to be each other’s partner, companion, supporter etc. It’s a difficult task to change an adult than a young folk.
Victims needs to start voicing out, also don’t be too sentimental to the point that you will easily fall for their plea when they come begging (its all lies) and proper action should be taken out on the perpetrators. Choose to move out of that unhealthy relationship or marriage today for your mental health stability. Know this, one of my saying “being happily single or alone is better than living in hell with a partner!”.
There has been cases of people who moved out of an abusive marriage and they are living fine and good. You cannot live to please the people of the world, they would criticize you on any action you take, so why not do what is best for you.
Thanks for taking out time to read my blog.
