A while ago, @ericvancewalton asked us to share our best relationship advice through the #memoirmonday initiative. That was a good one. We shared many relationship tips that are very useful in keeping healthy and enduring relationships. The #memoirmonday initiative is a good engagement scheme here on the blockchain. It helps us reflect on our lives and families and share memories which are useful and inspiring to others. The #memoirmonday initiative can be found here
I have witnessed two relationships which ended with the unexpected - death of the spouse. The two of them I want to refer to are ladies.
The female partners are mostly the susceptible ones in many relationships. I do not mean that women are disadvantaged but the fact that nature has placed the male partner above the female partner in a relationship makes the female partner to be the one who usually suffers from any misfortune. That doesn't mean that the male partner may not suffer, they do suffer also. Please, let not our female friends feel bad because of anything I say here.
There was a friend and a sister which we had been in the same religious environment together. She was a good sister and well behaved. She had good virtues to make a good wife and a spouse. She entered into a relationship with someone I knew also. The brother (trying to follow religious creeds) kept cool in the relationship without acknowledging the feeling the sister had for him. The irony of the issue was that the brother actually thought of pairing up with the sister. But trying to avoid condemnation from his religious leaders, he chose to keep quiet and allow spiritual leadership to decide for him. But little did he know that marital issues sometimes need to be handled with consideration of emotional and physical feelings.
The unjustified wait and silence of the brother made the sister accept a relationship which she wasn't so pleased with but for fear of losing out totally, she accepted to marry the man. Even from the initial stage, it was clear that the man wasn't healthy and strong. The life expectancy of the man wasn't recommendable. Few years into the relationship, the husband died. In fact, it was just one delivery that they were able to have before the husband died.
What can we learn from this
Too much silence can cause damage in young relationships. It is not an offense or a crime to make your intention known from the very beginning. There is no sin in a guy approaching the girl he loves and wishes to spend his life with. We have had several religious teachings that cause many problems rather than build good marriages. The people who want to live together should decide for themselves. There shouldn't be induced pairing up.
Another thing I want to say is that young people who want to get married should pray very well before embarking on such a journey. Marriage is sweet at the same time, marriage is a dangerous road to tread carelessly. There are many things which one does not know from the background of the person he or she is approaching so, there's a need to pray.
