Live For You

I was telling my mom about the plans I have for certain friends of mine and knowing the kind of person she is, I was expecting her to make a comment or two, coupled with some African mother “eyes”. This particular time, she quietly listened without saying a word. After I was done, she asked “what about you?”. Very confused, I asked what she meant by that and she made me realize that my plans were all about doing things to make my friends happy.

What was I doing to make myself happy? What have I been doing to make myself happy? What am I doing to make myself happy? Sigh. Almost all the years I’ve known myself, I’ve always been on the move to make people around me happy. I could pause my whole day and cancel whatever I have on my schedule to make someone else’s day productive. I always put myself last in the name of I will have time for myself later.

From planning surprises, to gifting people randomly, to extending financially supportive without being asked. I could go on and on but I barely do any of these for myself. I hesistate and find thousand and one reasons why I shouldn’t spend my money on certain things even if they make me happy but do not think twice when I hear someone asking me for help, even for the silliest reasons. I know I am not the only person on this boat.

The funny part is how we don’t mind inconveniencing ourselves for people but can’t do that for ourselves. We’re always considerate when it comes to others but very inconsiderate when it comes to us. We’re quick to turn our listening ears to anyone who needs us but keep on turning deaf ears to our own needs. We say life is short so we have to be kind to others but we forget that we’re not immortal. We’re also as humans as the people we are kind to. So why not be kind to ourselves first?

I get it that you are probably selfless but don’t forget you’d have to be alive to be that selfless person you want to be, so prioritize yourself. Most of us have been impressing people all our lives and the sad part is how we don’t even realize it because it’s become part and parcel of us. It’s even worse when those people you have been compromising a lot and running extra miles for don’t even appreciate you.

There’s nothing wrong with doing whatever you want to do. It’s your life and you really can do anything you want but in the end, make sure you’re not living your life for anyone. Make sure you’re as happy as the people you’ve been cutting your head for. Make sure the smiles on the faces of the people you help are the same size as the one on your face. Most importantly, make sure the smiles you show people are not under any mask.