Redefinition

abenad in #hive-109288 • 5 days ago

I saw different kinds of Abenads in the mirror all through 2024 in different situations. But the one thing that never changed was what I stood for. I always say part of the reason why I am who I am today is because I grew up from a home where there was abundance of love.

Last year, I went through relationship tests. Not even romantic ones. Just friendships, acquaintances and all those ships. I call them tests because I believe they were just stepping blocks to meeting really great people this year so I had to be ready for anything of that sort. I had to be equipped with the wisdom to solve these issues anytime and I can’t wait.

Each time I went through these hurdles with a friend, I never fought back. No matter how hurt they made me, I always showed love. It was on just one occasion that I just let go of the relationship because it felt like the person was sent after my life actually. Haha.

Looking all through 2024, I realized that even though I always say I’m easily influenced by people, the one thing nobody can change about me is the love I give. I was brought up to show love in all situations and that’s my reflex in every situation. Most times even when I am on the offended side, I’m quick to give excuses for the offender and apologize just so sleeping dogs would lie. I’m quick to be there for people when I have my own pile of issues to deal with.

Unfortunately, I learned that the world doesn’t even care about any of these. People don’t care if you move heaven and earth for them. People don’t care what good of a person you are, they’ll still take advantage any least chance they get.

Putting what I learned about myself and what the world really is together, I’m really going to be myself. Enough of worrying about if this person is worth my love or not. I’m done with wondering if someone is trying to take advantage of my support. I know how important I am and will always help those who need and truly appreciate my presence. Give them all the love they need. On the other hand, any time, I feel I’m at the wrong place or with the wrong people, I’m going to do my best to withdraw.

In as much I learned something beautiful about myself, I also learned the other thing I needed to know about the world. As I said, the world won’t be the reason why I would throw away something I stand for so I’m definitely going to do my best to strike that balance.

Images are mine

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consciouscat 5 days ago

Sounds like you're learning how to give yourself the kind of love you so willingly give others. If so, what a good thing to practise in 2025. !HUG

abenad 5 days ago

Yes I am. Thank youu☺️

consciouscat 2 days ago

Mwah! 😘

fredaa 5 days ago

Sometimes we go through some phases in life in preparation for the more beautiful phase, I hope this year is that year where you step into your beautiful place. Have a great year 🤗

abenad 5 days ago

Yeah, we are prepared for the better. Thank you!
Have a great year.

fredaa 4 days ago

You're welcome.

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whatmidesays 4 days ago

It's funny how the most testing relationships are not even those on the romantic side. This is so beautifully written and relatable. It’s amazing how you’ve stayed true to your values and chosen love, even when it wasn’t easy. I admire your strength and the wisdom you’ve gained from those experiences. Not letting it make you bitter says a lot about your core values. And yes, striking that balance between being kind and protecting your energy is so important. Because there as much as we have people who will help us flourish, there are also people who will drain you, intentionally or unintentionally.

abenad 4 days ago

You’ve said it all, Mide. You’ve said it all.
I’m glad I I figured it out early and thank you for heartwarming words.

mviews 5 days ago

You should do that and be speedy when you see these flags(ion know if it’s red anymore) but I think we do have this mechanism that tells us something ain’t right.

Most times we give love forgetting that we also need much of that love. I was the type raised with pure drama(not the loving type of fam) but still thought I was missing out on love due to the type of family I grew up in. But man, I really wasn’t missing much because each time I gave love to people with the expectation of it being reciprocated… I never did get a tiny ounce back, instead I usually got dealt the bad hand.

Now the problem isn’t about giving love instead it’s a lack that I thought I had and needed to get from others. Which I realized was the wrong approach. But once I only give without expectations, and in situations I know I won’t be doing too much that it might cost me my peace and quiet. Going extra or hurting myself just to see others happybecame a taboo. There are situations where you don't have a choice because of how important the person is to you but going extra is not something you do for everyone you meet.

abenad 5 days ago

This is so true in every way. I don’t even know where to start from but my eyes caught on the latter part. There are really situations where you have no choice especially when it comes to family even though I don’t think I’ve been in such a situation before.

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beckyroyal 4 days ago

That's the sad reality about humans. Even if you break your skull open or you tear your ribcage apart for them to see how genuine you are, some will still take advantage and call you stupidfor being caring and kind but I love your reflex response to respond with love irrespective and withdraw when it seems like it's life threatening.

abenad 4 days ago

Yeah a very sad reality.
Thank you, Becky.

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abenad 4 days ago

Thank you for your support

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Thanks for sharing your experience with us!
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abenad 2 days ago

Thank you for the support