To move forward in life you have to let go of excuses. I will show you how.
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Making excuses is second nature to most people. We always blame our failures, our inadequacies on someone or something. When we fall short of expectations in an examination we find someone or something to blame. When we make mistakes we push the blame away to someone else. But what most excuse-makers don't realise is how harmful this habit is to our growth and development in all areas of our lives.
The Psychology Of Excuse-Making
Psychologists or people who study human behaviour have attempted to find out the reason why we inevitably involve ourselves in this damaging behavior. The answer is simple: Failure creates a huge psychological burden on the mind of the person that fails and so to ease this mental burden they put the blame of their failure on someone or something.
It Hurts Us More Than We Realize
Yes. The habit of excuse-making harms us more than we realize. The fact is that when we blame someone else for our failure, we automatically stop seeing ourselves as being responsible for that failure and we stop doing anything to amend or to stop it from repeating. That's the way our brains are wired. If we don't put the blame on ourselves our brains will stop treating that failure as something to be worked on. And what happens? We continue to repeat that mistake or failure and continue giving excuses each time and damaging our lives.
For example you as a student may fail an exam and as an excuse-maker you say 'I failed because this subject is hard to understand'. What happens when you say this? Mentally you won't see the reason to do anything about the subject because to you the subject is responsible for your failure and not you.
It Is Better To Accept The Psychological Burden
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Imagine if you said instead after that academic failure: 'I failed because I didn't read hard enough to understand this course'. What happens? You start making efforts to read hard to understand the course, because you see yourself as responsible for the failure. And if the effort is made hard enough and rightly you eventually break the barrier of failure.
So it better to bear that psychological burden of a failure or mistake by blaming yourself because that uncomfortable burden will move you to action that will help you eventually overcome the failure.
Always Say "I am Responsible"
I learnt this three-worded sentence from the personal development coach, Brian Tracy. Whenever you encounter failure or make a mistake instead of finding someone or something to blame, say to yourself " "I am responsible for this failure or mistake". It makes you want to do something to remedy the failure or mistake. For example instead of blaming the economic hardship on the government, tell yourself that it is affecting you because you are not industrious enough, because you can see other industrious citizens living well amidst the economic downturn. Instead of blaming the accident on the speedy cyclist, blame yourself for not looking well before crossing the road.
Instead of shifting the blame, sit down and try to find out what you did wrong that caused the mistake or failure. And if you look long and hard enough you will discover and then you take responsibility and correct the mistake.
How To Know That You Are Responsible For Any Failure You Encounter
Generally we can't blame ourselves for everything but how to know when to put the blame on yourself is to ask 'Are there people in the same situation as me that didn't fail like I did or didn't make the same mistake I did?' Or 'People in my situation that achieved that thing I couldn't achieve?'. If the answer is yes, then you have to put the blame on yourself, find out what you did wrong that caused the failure or mistake and take full responsibility.
Letting Go Of Excuse-Making Will Change Your Life
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By dropping the habit of excuse-making and taking responsibility for your failures and inadequacies you become a proactive person. You will start making conscious efforts to become better, to avoid mistakes, to avoid failures. For example the student that takes responsibility for a failed course will start making efforts to see what he didn't do right that made him fail and by that effort his is bound to improve on that course.
Likewise a business person that blames himself for poor sales in their business will try to see what he did wrongly that caused that. It could be poor customer service or wrong choice of business, or lack of proper planning and financial management, whatever it is, because he takes responsibility for not doing well in business and tries to find out what he got wrong, he will definitely discover what he is doing wrong and amend and sales in his business will boom as a result.
In Conclusion…
Letting go of excuse-making will make you take responsibility of your life, and help you achieve success in any of your endeavours, because you will be putting constant pressure on yourself to get better and to improve and by that you will become better and achieve success in life.
Thanks for stopping by.