I don’t go out of my way to let anyone know I don’t like them. I simply mind my business.
I don't live my life believing I am better than anyone. So, not liking someone or their way of life is really not their business and expecting that to have any form of effect on them is just narcissism at play.
It is one thing to give criticism(for which no one is obligated to care) and it is a completely different thing to just be a hateful person, to spread hate by being unkind with our words and actions.
People who think themselves better than others lack the basic understanding of the concept of respect and humanity. Judging someone for thinking and living differently is not very healthy. For it clogs our thinking, preventing us from forming healthy opinions about others.
The truth is we are just as cool, awful, ordinary or special just like the next person. Whether or not they are doing it right by our own books. It is our first duty to humanity to see and respect everyone.
When it comes to behavioral analysis, the first point on my note is always projection. I believe we are constantly projecting our expectations and standards on others.
What is Projection?
Projection is simply seeing your worst or best self in others.
When I was much younger and hadn't learnt about the term, what I would say to someone who is projecting some negative attribute to me is:
You say I did this because deep down that is what you would do, so your first instinct is assume the next person is guilty of your evil, causing you to take on the defensive.
Not in those exact words but, you get my point. Don't you?
We are our first love and first enemy. Everything you hate about the world is staring back at you when you look in the mirror. We find ourselves seeking or running from the parts of ourselves we like or don't fancy, in others. That is how projection works. What knowing this does for me is you would hardly find me seeking validation from anyone. Because how you see me is not entirely about me but about the lenses you are looking through.
We are all guilty of it and sometimes we don't know when we do it. Sometimes I find myself projecting and stop, and other times I miss it. In all, I do my best to take respsonbility and extend the same humanity to others.
It is not my intention to become the monster I loathe by becoming judgy of them. I am not condemning anyone’s character, but if it affects another person them I think it becomes okay to talk about it and for everyone involved to do better.
Our words and actions are often deeper than we care to admit. It take a conscious unpacking effort to be able to understand how we have been affected by situations and are now projecting our feelings and expectations.
It is okay to be who you are. You must also understand that no one is obligated to deal with you.
Personally, I don’t appeal to anyone’s gaze. I don’t care who likes me or doesn’t. I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me; but I am also not oblivious of the way my behaviors can affect other people causing them to have feelings about me.
I don’t pride myself as a good person as that would be too much pressure and expectations but I am decent in my dealings. I am only ever interested in where I can give love and receive it.
My reaction to hostility is often no reaction at all but removing myself from the situation. Love and light works like magic. Knowing when to hold my own and when not to care. When to check someone and when to let them be. But I don’t do level grounds as I do not care to match energies. Just because someone is mean to me doesn’t not mean I’ll be same to them. Sometimes, we are able to look a situation and be able to tell when someone doesn’t like their self very much. Reason is because we recognize the hate and narcissism in them.
My question is:
If we exude and project the energy we are, how do you know you’re interpreting someone’s energy correctly and not merely projecting our understanding and perspective on them?
I have no idea. I try to keep it simple, always falling back to kindness as a primary principle. Kindness to myself and to others. We are all capable of love and hate. Our minds are constantly doing a tap dance on this thin spectrum, going from one end to the other.
Close your eyes. Draw a deep breath. Tilt your head in the direction you want your mind to go on the spectrum.
Morale of this thoughtful daily post is: DON’T BE A JERK.
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