Ever heard of the phrase “not enough time”, I guess that’s my reality right now.
I miss the days when all I ever had to worry about was what mum was making for dinner or how to get the ball from the compound of that one neighbor whose sole purpose in life was to stop kids from having fun.
Boy, those were the days, the ones where you had no worries and all the innocence in the world. I see many children having that type of fun and it sometimes saddens me that its all ticking away with the passage of time. I still play ball from time to time (lol) but it doesn’t feel the same as sneaking out knowing punishment probably awaits, it was the thrill that mattered.
Time, the one thing we always want more of but also the one thing you’re certain is ticking away as you experience each day. It’s those experiences whether good or bad, happy or sad, joyful or painful that determines whether we’ll look back and say we lived a great life.
You might be wondering what the crisis is about, for me the crisis of time is the uncertainty involved or is it the certainty. The uncertainty of knowing each decision you make could be the one decision you look back at and either appreciate or regret. Its almost like a treasure hunt in a cave filled with booby traps, you either navigate correctly to get the treasure or one mistake and everything goes boom.
The funny thing about all this is that regardless of what you do, everything is always a decision, even indecision is a type of decision. What then does one do?
The above is actually something I think about all the time, especially when my birthday is near (which is actually next month). I hear all the time about how women have a biological clock and they sometimes have to make certain decisions before certain ages, or how some people experience midlife crises (usually around 40 to 60 years according to google) where people struggle with their identity and wonder if they’ve achieved enough.
I’m not a woman and I’m nowhere near 40 at the moment, but I find that I’m approaching my birthday with a lot of anxiety. I like the fact that I’ll be a year older, but its almost as if time is just beside my ear chuckling silently.
There’s a lot of things really important to me still on my to do list and some of them are nowhere close to being accomplished. But I still have to contend with the certain knowledge that I might have the time to accomplish them or I might not. The uncertainty is really crazy.
I’ll be a year older in a month’s time, but I’m sure now you understand the crisis.
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