¡Hey!
I am once again stopping by this beautiful community to talk about a topic that has saddened me these past few years.
Imagen creada por mi en la plataforma Canva.Y es que desde que soy muy pequeña hasta más o menos los 19 años las épocas decembrinas significaban mucho para mí, navidad y año nuevo eran mis festividades favoritas del año y desde que empezaba el año yo ya estaba a la expectativa de como serían las siguientes, pero eso cambió a medida que me fui haciendo más adulta.
From the time I was very little until I was about 19 years old, Christmas and New Year were my favorite holidays of the year and since the beginning of the year I was already looking forward to what the next ones would be like, but that changed as I became more adult.
Of course, the excitement when I was a child was the arrival of the baby Jesus and the toys that I found at the foot of the tree on December 25th. There were also the "traki traki" and fireworks very typical of this date with which I had a lot of fun. I also liked the reunion with my family and cousins, but I didn't value that as much as in my adolescence and adulthood, of course.
When I grew up a little more they were still special, because of the different trips we made for these dates, the reunions with the family, the delicious food, the new clothes, the joy and good vibes that were felt in the street and again the gifts that now I did not care so much to receive but to give, because I have always liked to be a detail person, I think it is my way of expressing love.
Creo que la última navidad feliz que tuve fue la del 2018, sino recuerdo mal, porque como de costumbre mi familia se reunió, adornamos toda la casa de mi tío, alquilamos sillas y mesas, el plato navideño estaba a reventar y yo me divertí increíblemente con mis primos. Atesoro esa noche muy profundo en mi memoria.
Things started to change since everything went downhill in Venezuela, the economy collapsed, people started to emigrate and the streets of my town felt empty and nothing felt the same as before.I think the last merry Christmas I had was 2018, if I remember correctly, because as usual my family got together, we decorated my uncle's entire house, rented chairs and tables, the Christmas plate was bursting at the seams and I had an amazing time with my cousins. I treasure that night deep in my memory.
For 2019 I was quite depressed because of several things that had accumulated in my life, plus we did not have enough money to make hallacas and although we still had something special for dinner, it was only my mom, my grandmother, my dad, my aunt and me, we went to bed early. On December 31 my family got together, but I did not have enough energy to attend, I only stayed with my dad and my aunt and we also went to bed early.
On Christmas 2020 I was already in Peru and it was simply sad, my boyfriend's father was hospitalized in the intensive care unit because he had been infected with covid and we lived really stressful and frustrating days, we had no spirit, we lived in fear and although we had a dinner with my boyfriend's family we also went to bed early, something similar happened on the 31st, I don't even remember it anymore. There was never a happy ending.
In 2021 I had more expectations, everyone was happy because my boyfriend's sister had arrived with her family from Ecuador and we met the first nephew/grandson of the family who was showered with gifts while he filled us with joy, they were a little more cheerful despite the marked absence of a member. After the pandemic this was my "more normal" Christmas but I was still feeling strange and just wondering how my family in Venezuela was doing. On December 31st I received the year crying in front of my family because of an argument I had with my boyfriend and I think that from that day on I made the cross to Christmas.
Para este año tengo 0 expectativas, más bien me siento triste y nerviosa, solo quiero que el año se terminé de una buena vez, ni siquiera quiero echarle un vistazo a las metas que anoté a principio de año porque estoy segura de que no logré nada de lo que quería. Lo único que espero es que el proximo año sea más llevadero.
Disculpen mis palabras tan pesimistas, pero, aunque quisiera, actualmente no se ver la navidad como algo positivo, de verdad espero que ustedes no estén pasando por lo mismo que yo, y sobre todo espero algún día volver a sentir ilusión por estas festividades. Muchas gracias si llegaste hasta aquí.
For this year I have 0 expectations, I feel sad and nervous, I just want the year to be over for good, I don't even want to take a look at the goals I wrote down at the beginning of the year because I'm sure I didn't achieve anything I wanted to. The only thing I hope is that next year will be more bearable.
I apologize for my pessimistic words, but, even if I wanted to, I don't know how to see Christmas as something positive, I really hope you are not going through the same as I am, and above all I hope that someday I will feel illusion for these festivities again. Thank you very much if you made it this far.
