September 30, 2022 has this ever painful blow in me. The number 30 seems to mean something different since then. It was a Friday just like today, coincidentally, they share the same number, 30th. Unlike today, that fateful day had me getting up to face my life, just like days before it, except that I never knew it won't end like other days for me.
The morning of that fateful day had me visiting a construction site I was handling before I make it to my parent's house to see my sick mom and also assist them get groceries for the weekend, as had been the practice since my grandma died July 15. Well, she's been the one taking care of her mother with the assistance of my dad.
After my grandma died, my mom hasn't been to the market due to condolence visits within the first week and her health condition worsening the more. That fateful day's events always play on my head as if I was dreaming or watching some movies.
Fastforward from the time I left the construction site to see her, I met her gisting with two of our family friends. The two women have been very supportive and helpful to us in those trying moments. I came in, exchanged pleasantries with everyone and made my way to her room. Dad was still around because they wanted to go for some medical check up later in the afternoon.
After a while, she came inside the room to discuss with me. After asking about my wife and little baby @emjoejnr, who just turned 8 months old the previous day, and giving all the grandma's care advice about him, we talked about things to get for them from the market. Part of the purchase was a condiment that will be used for cooking during the mom's funeral, scheduled for 21st October.
I took in each sayings of hers with much attention, including the instructions that she has spoken to one of her customers I was to get it from and that the said customer would be expecting me. That was not hard for me because I know most of her customers because of the many times in the past we went to the market together.
After a few more chats, I said my "see you later", as I was supposed to return what I got for them before heading to my place later. That was with the mind that, they could prepare the food when they come back from the hospital for the check up. Well, they never came back together. 😭😭😭.
I got a call from dad sometime around 5pm that they've been in the hospital for a while but mom has been a bit weak for the several laboratory tests that they were to conduct, hence, they said they were going to try and boost her energy and may be she will be stronger for the tests the following day, I said it's okay, that I was already closed to the house and would drop the things I bought for them.
I hurriedly got to the house with the rains falling, dropped the groceries, stayed a little while more before leaving to my place. My place is about 10km distance to them. I got home, called dad around 7pm to know how they were doing. I also spoke to my mom, who was already receiving treatment. I she told me she wasn't feeling fine despite the treatment, I gave her some reassuring words and encouragements, and told her she will soon go home. That later turned out to be my last discussion with her. She never did 😭😭😭.
Sometime before 9pm, dad called me with panic on his voice saying he doesn't understand what mom was going through, that she's not talking again and the hospital is referring them to another hospital. While I tried to calm him down, I felt this numbness and cold chills all over me. I've never felt that way before in my entire life. Yes, it was still raining but the cold was not from the rain.
I made my way out of the house, leaving my wife and little baby to sleep alone for the first time since he was borne. I didn't know that night was going to be the worst night of my life so far. I had to wait on the road to join my dad and others in their vehicle as they've been running around for a good hospital with oxygen to no avail. The last hope was the hospital close to where I live.
I joined the vehicle carrying my mom and dad in the back seat with my cousins driving behind us crazily too. We got to the hospital around 9:30pm, waited for a while before the doctor arrived because the nurses on night shift after checking her with the stethoscope, said they can't admit us unless the doctor comes around.
After a while, the doctor arrived, used the stethoscope on her and called me aside to say, "she's no longer around". That message sounded like a piercing to my heart. I haven't been myself ever since and my perception about life has changed so much since then. I've lost interest in a lot of things I used to enjoy before then. Have got some heart aches too.
In all, we just have to bury both my mother and grandmother within the same week, with just a day's difference.
My beloved mother
My grandma (My mom's mother)
As the year gradually winds up, I wish the vacuum can be filled with something but unfortunately it can only be just a wish, as nothing can replace a mother's love, care and connection to the child.
