If I Could Play God In Changing Me

in #hive-11060last month

Source

Hey guys, my name is Imorobebi and I'm a bit nervous about perfection because this is my first time posting in this community. I hope you enjoy this.

Over the past 24 years, I have walked this Earth. I have grown, gone through turmoil, failed a lot, got a lot of wins, made a couple of mistakes, corrected myself, pulled a few stunts, and all that. Through these experiences, I have developed into a more mature and self-aware individual. However, I have also come to recognize certain flaws within myself.

Initially, these imperfections caused me to doubt my worth. I began to make unhealthy comparisons between myself and people I felt were more. But as I got older and wiser, I realized that my flaws were a part of me I could never change in a million years.

The aspect of my life I detest the most is a character trait where I tend to resist what supposedly makes me happy.

Source

I act as though I am not bothered; it is none of my business. I am doing great without people and feeling like I got it all figured out. But I know that's all a lie, a facade with no rational reason why. Like I enjoy the pain it costs me; The villain moments where I am misunderstood and seen as the bad guy. The businesses I put in shambles because I sabotage my own opportunities and procrastinate on pursuing my goals, leading to feelings of frustration and disappointment. At a point, I get fed up that I just want to split ways with myself, but that is more than impossible, right?

Another aspect of my life that I would prefer a little touch of
change is also the character trait of being "indecisive".

Source

The fact that I am never prompt in making decisions, almost never conclusive, is another aspect of my life that I think I need a do-over. Because it has caused me a bag of problems. I turn to people's opinions to make mine. At the end of the day, I tend to make a wrong decision. The worst comes when I am expected to make a hasty decision. I get stuck because I feel I need not be rash, considering all my options and their various turnouts. Unfortunately, unlike others, I am slow to stuff up all these things and then conclude on what move to make.

Yeah, I figured every person has a different path and turnout events. So someone elses experiences and turnout in a particular situation, as you, in most cases, are meant to be different. Because there are a lot of factors involved, these factors most likely never remain in the same condition as yours at the time. So taking "decision-making inspiration" from people complicates our own lives as ours is not a replay of theirs.

This took me a lot of regrets to realize. The funny thing is, despite realizing this, I still make the same mistakes.

If I could play god to change these aspects of my life, I am certain I would achieve a lot. From the right people, beautiful relationships, my peace, to mega businesses.

Sort:  

At a point, I get fed up that I just want to split ways with myself, but that is more than impossible, right?

I can relate to this. Knowing that it's impossible to split ways with myself, I have decided that I would work on myself doing whatever it takes to change my narrative.

Although, still a work in progress 😅

Thank you for sharing 🙏

Appreciate you bro🙂💡. We'll all do better as long as we put in the work. Thanks for taking your time to read

Congratulations @bebii352! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)

You distributed more than 100 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 200 upvotes.
You received more than 10 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 50 upvotes.

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Thank you🙂

Wow, two badges in a row, that's awesome @bebii352! 🎉

Awesome job @bebii352! Your first upvotes on Hive are making a big impact. Keep spreading the buzz!

Wow! Thanks