As children, we usually look up to our parents and older adults as role models, expecting guidance, support, and protection. However, there are times when they fail us, leaving emotional scars that can linger long after the incident has passed. I recall a situation where I felt wronged by someone I trusted, and the absence of an apology left a deep wound that took years to heal.
It happened during my teenage years when I was struggling to find my place in the world. My parents, in an attempt to discipline me, took away a privilege that meant the world to me. While their intention was to teach me a lesson, their approach was hurtful and damaging. I felt misunderstood, unheard. In the days that followed, I expected an apology or at least some acknowledgment of their wrongdoing. But it never came.
However, they rationalized their behaviours and ended up making me more isolated, and befuddled. The absence of apology left me feeling unimportant and unheard hailing and health, as if I were merely an ephemeral figment of someone’s imagination. Sometimes it seemed as if they denied my suffering, told me to snap out of it, or get a life, or that I was too emotional or over dramatic. The last thing I expect is to be dismissed this way, and this dismissal only aggravated my pain, and made it even more difficult for me to let go.
Time went by and the enmity remained; with my parents’ reputation being tarnished, my feeling toward myself was equally diminished. I made a decision to dub myself as unworthy of love and respect, this really affected me in one way or the other. This had left me estranged which prevented me from relating with other people because; no apology was given. I was constantly on edge as if standing on eggshels because at any moment I could be thrown another punch.
As for the given piece, considering what happened later, I can state that the unspoken apology was as much about my parents’ unwillingness to admit their misbehavior as it was their inability to address their shortcomings. It was a missed chance to become a better, healthier, and wiser person as well as for a better dialogue and mutual understanding between young men. They did not apologize and I believe it was the missed opportunity to demonstrate to me that they care for our difference relationship and they consider my emotion.
This made understand that an apology if sincere is important in the process of healing and the restoration of trust. Making a mistake is human and making a mistake in a relationship erases the chance of forgiveness, empathize and healing if we don’t accept the responsibility of our actions. Talking about apologies, it is essential to underline that they are able to actualize emotional remedy, reconciliation, and trust.
Finally, I had to beat my way to seek the apology that I required to heal from the situation. I was trained that it is okay to feel a certain way, be kind to myself, and ask for help. I came to know that even I was not the only one suffering and others had faced the same issues. I started to work on myself and regain as much confidence as I could to trust people again.
As you can see a scar still stays on my face, but I realized that real power is being weak, that it is okay to feel and share that with other people. I’ve been putting efforts in excusing my parents and myself for what they did to me as well as what I’ve done to them. It will therefore mean that the act of forgiving does not entail forgetting the act or even endorsing the same but implying a release of bitterness over the event.
It is possible to feel felt quite deeply the absence of an apology and the ways that absence shapes relationships, self, and trust. But life is life and it begins at the point where one decides to stop being an unproductive patient and start to become a productive citizen. Thus, one can gain the strength that is necessary to forgive and heal in the first place, when he or she learns to accept emotions, ask for help, and be kind to oneself. In other words, while saying sorry is critical in repairing relationships and moving on, letting go is a person’s decision that will determine his or her freedom from being held by bitterness and animosity.
