I was sixteen years old when I was finally diagnosed with asthma. But before then, right after I was born I couldn't cry like other children did. When I cried my lungs wouldn't open up like it was supposed to so I would end up choking on my own cry and getting stuck on it. I won't be able to breath and I would stay in one animated position until someone hits my back and my jaw really hard. Because of this, while growing up my family avoided making me cry so rather than to beat me for doing something wrong they would yell at me instead and if I were to hide in a corner and cry someone would follow me to wherever I was crying to make sure I didn't choke on my own cry. This continued for years until at one point it stopped, maybe it was because i wasn't crying anymore or it had miraculously vanished.
My family had thought that was the end of it until one day when I was fourteen, my sister woke me up and said I was breathing funny I ignored her and went back to sleep, then a couple minutes later I couldn't breath at all. We went for a dozen checkups and did a dozen test and two years after I was finally diagnosed.
The moral of this story is, don't wait till something is really bad to start making decisions and taking actions. Knowing your partner's genotype should be as simple as knowing his name. the first time you have a serious conversation you're obviously going to ask questions about one another to get to know each other better so why should the question " what is your genotype" be so hard to ask during that period.
People say the heart wants what it wants but I've seen parents with sickle cell children and I can confidently tell you that from their experience, the pain from having a sickle cell child is greater than any love that made them get married.
No parent wants to see their child suffer. Couples can get separated and not love one another but parents cannot do so with their children.
During my childhood, my family had no idea what they were dealing with and they didn't bother taking me to the hospital for a checkup because like every traditional Nigerian family they thought " it was just a small thing" and if you say the word asthma their reaction would be " God forbid". But now look at the price of that negligence.
Do not tell yourself "God forbid it is not my portion". It Is a pure lie, God does not forbid anything, it is you that would take action and prevent it. Instead of saying "it is not my portion and I cover myself with the blood of Jesus" why not go to the hospital and check your genotype or ask your partner about theirs before it becomes serious.
It took two years in and out of hospital before I was diagnosed with common asthma and we went to the best hospital in my state that is to show you how unprofessional and unequipped these hospitals are. Giving yourself the possibility of having a sickle cell child is just pure suicide in this country with bad medical facilities. I have a friend who is a sickler and he uses a walking stick now. He told me one time when we were having a conversation about life in general and he said that he was tired of living and he would like to join his other siblings because the pain was too much. Imagine your child that you carried for nine months and took care of after birth getting so sick that he would want to give up and die, it would break your heart into a million pieces for sure. Or you can just avoid the whole scenario and just check your genotype at the onset of the relationship. It's not so hard is it?.
Like the saying goes " ignorance is a disease" please don't be it's patient.