Before opening this sheet to write my thoughts on this prompt, I thought about all the possible things I would like to draw to life that could solve all my problems. A money machine for one or maybe a past I never had with a dad I never knew. However, all those seem so insignificant compared to what I really want now.
I want to take it that whatever tool I use to bring this wish to life is magical and can make everything just go away. Why, with all my heart, I will find my way to a beach and on the sand, with the hands of time, I will draw You my friend. Not to replace you, no. But to take away all the hurt and the sadness. The affliction and the shadows that weigh on you so heavily.
Maybe I will draw the You from before this entire debacle. So bright and energetic, so pieced together and poetic. Maybe I will draw the You from way before the drama. Balanced and whole. Strong enough and yet so fragile. Independent but not afraid to let me lead. Maybe I will draw the You from way before all the turbulence. Maybe I will just draw You as I see you…
You are not sick but your heart is. Every night, just you and I, I hold you in my dreams because I know just how much the wreck you have seen. With a lot of pressure and so many panic attacks, you still crossed over that bridge, yet you are not You. With each moment that passes, I yearn for the real you. The one before the earthquake.
Even until this day, You still walk – albeit slowly – towards those goals. It seems like a one-person journey, but you are not afraid even when you say you are which is when I see you at your most beautiful. Broken and still so breath taking. Your tears do not make you any less of who you are, no…if anything, it makes me fall in love all over again.
“Hold my hand?” you say and deep within those brown pools, windows to your soul, I see it. You are longing to be free. I do not hold the key to your freedom, but I know you and I hold the key you gave me. The key to your heart, your soul woven beautifully with poignant threads of love and gratitude. Your mistakes are not you and sadly, I may be the only one who sees that.
So young, not free, if I could, I would draw You the way I see You. Bright and lovely. Energetic and Strong. Broken and beautiful. Angry and Kind. Scared and Mine. Because that is how I see you. Mine. Soul mates is what we are.
Through the hyperventilation, the panic attacks, the terrible screams and yells from deep within those delicate fabrics of your soul ripped to shreds by life’s vile ways, you’re still YOU, you’re still very much mine. I hope that you see it too. Someday soon…
