Friendship was something I used to do with levity, though it was unintentionally; I just didn't know that some friendship requires so much intentionality to flourish. I wasn't a bad friend at all, I cared, supported, loved, stood in, etc for my friends but lacked predetermined intentions, careful thoughts and expression of how I feel ( I'd rather keep most of my feelings to myself then).
I was more close to my male friends, of course, we did every thing guys would do in friendship. The support, crazy jokes and play and all that but it could have been better. Thinking about it reminded me of a time my closest friend was so shocked that I asked him if he has eaten.... "Hollup, normally was I supposed to ask you my gee?"😅. Don't get me wrong, I never knew I should ask this guy if he has eaten or not because he comes to my house almost everyday (I don't go to his place like he does) and he eats 97% of whatever I am eat: we share our food and other stuffs too so why should I ask you bro if you have eaten The very few times I've asked him if he has eaten was because my mom asked me to go ask him so she can add him to the meal budget.
I would say all the friendship I had before mid 2024 were good ones but I could have done better. Also, I am still friends with most of those friends and I am work in progress but few friendship with some particular people taught me a lot about friendship and who exactly should be my friend. Until I met someone who had given friendship a definition and knows the exact type of friends wanted, I was just joking around. Mind you, your dwag, gee, your guy are not necessarily friends except it has been defined by both parties.
Now, I have certain individuals who I have become friends with and I am sure in the next years to come we will still be friends. Some of these friends, the few sermons I've listened to (Apst. Joshua Selman), some videos have watched online made me know that friendship needs more than just love, being there for the other person in their lowest or helping them. It requires some level of emotional intelligence, being very smart and intelligent, observant, honesty, transparency. I started seeking quality relationship and more importantly working in myself to be a quality friend too.
Last year, I had quite a lot of misunderstandings and quarrel with a female friend, first was that we didn't understand each other well, others were because I wasn't observant (sensitive) or intentional enough. One thing I'd do again if I will be having a new friend is that I would live to know what friendship is to them, the value and quality they look out for or expect from friends: I'd also share mine. With these, I will be able to know how much I should invest in such friendships or if I don't want at all. Other things like goals, aspirations, present and future plans, ambitions, likes and dislikes really count too because why being friends with someone whose present and nearest future doesn't align with any part of your life ? . I think it's a total waste of time.
A balance to this is that those who are maybe good, doing great things, have good mindset but doesn't necessarily align with you are not meant to be pushed away or avoided. We all need men, same level with us, higher level or lower than our level, you'd need men. Men are the ones that occupy and rule this earth. If you are truthful, some of the help that came through in your life weren't from friends, maybe from someone you knew or a referral or total stranger. Keep good men around you but everyone doesn't have to be your friend.
I make sure to have something to offer in every of my friendship, even in some that the other partner has way more I do, I can't be useless in friendship. One best way to seek quality friendship is by become one, a quality friend to another person.
This is my response to #inleo #januaryinleo day 6 prompt, did you make new friends in 2024?. You can check out and know more about the prompt here
Posted Using InLeo Alpha