When I think about all those times as a kid when I was being forced and literally begged to sleep yet I didn’t, I feel so pained in my heart that I didn’t make good use of that time. What I preferred to do then was run around and play all day and night. If only they had told me that being an adult meant not getting enough sleep, I would have spent my childhood covering up for the sleep I’m loosing as an adult now.
Some years back, before I got into the university, I had a sleep schedule. I would wake up as early as 5am and sleep at around 9:00pm. It was good for me because then, I didn’t have much to worry about and I was also getting more than enough sleep to keep me refreshed for the next day.
I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden, I’m an adult and I’m beginning to think that the adulting package comes without sleep. Since the year began, I would say I’ve only had good rest for just one day which was even because I was sick. I understand that the night time is for sleeping but since I came to understand myself better, my night is more like daytime for me and unfortunately, my daytime comes with work and other commitments.
I get that rest is very important for every individual and I’m even one to always preach about its importance yet I don’t get to practice which I preach. Someone might think I don’t need rest or I intentionally don’t rest. Truth is, I don’t even get or have the time to sleep. For as long as I can remember, my longest sleep time has been between 3-5 hours on good days. And this is because there always seems to be something I have to do all the time. And weirdly, I don’t find myself dozing off during the day. It all feels normal to me but I know it’s bad for me.
And because my body is so used to this ‘model of rest’ of mine which I like it call it, even on days when I have nothing doing, I find myself not being able to sleep. About two days ago, I had a free schedule so I decided to do some self care treatment by pampering myself a bit and going to bed early. I was in bed at around 8:30pm. But I just laid in bed tossing and turning until 3:00am before I was able to drift to sleep. Worst part is, I woke up feeling more exhausted. So much for resting.😂
This year, my plan is to rest more but the problem now is how to get myself into the state of rest. This would mean my whole system needs some sort of readjustment which might take a lot of time. I don’t want to give up already because it looks like it but hopefully in about two months time, I should be able to have a sleep schedule which would give me about 5-6 hours of sleep time.
all images belong to me.
Posted Using INLEO
