Rating: 0/5
AKA: Give Me My 106 Minutes Back Bitch!
Watch Here: NOT ON MY WATCH
Let me ask you this plebber, You like hearing random instruments & bongos poppin' off like a fucking 4th of July fireworks show?
Oh, here's another one for you, you like the most generic of fucking plots bedazzled with slow ass camera pans and zooms, or closeups of shit that isn't scary?
Hold up, there's one more! You like how you can't suspend your disbelief because the crux of the godamn story is so shitty, stupid, and lazy?
Well I say HOT DAMN Honeydew is your movie pal!!!
Man I'm going to spare all ya'll some trouble. Basically wheat has gone bad, and religious zealots decide cannibalism is the key to salvation in the modern world. First off, I don't care how backwards you are, if you can't grow wheat right, you got plenty of otheir options to grow shit to feed ya cattle.
SECONDLY BITCH, if this movie had taken place 100 or so years ago, THEN MAYBE I would give it a pass, but the fact is this film is someone's visual jerk off session. You got torso love, you got lobotomy love, you got all kinds of stupid long drawn out moronic shit.
If you don't stop watching this film out of being insulted, then you'll stop watching it to go get ready to jack the cats up who made it.
This movie could have been over in 30 fucking minutes, it's literally trying to be something. It's as if someone took all of the things that they thought were cool from successful films, and said sure why not throw it all here in my shit story.
Also we can't prove it, but we think Rockapella from Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego did some of the music.
MRHELLBOX - I wanted to watch something decent, something believable like MindSeed TV and then somehow, someway this mother fucker slipped on our screen. First film I think we've given the 0 to. It's for sure the first entry on our Shit Bucket List. Do not watch it unless you want to have unbridled, unstoppable rage. That is literally the only thing I can reccomend this shit for. FUCK YOU whoever made this! - 0/5
DRUNKEN MASTER - I just wanna go cruising on my bike just to beat the shit out of the first person I see after watching this "FILM" - People wonder why there's so much violence in the world, it's because of nonsensical shit like this being shoved down our throats. - 0/5
PRINCE PECTORAL - I ALMOST RIPPED OFF MY REMAINING PECK because of this shit. It made me that mad - Yo lets do some fucking crazy religious christian shit for the millionth time, and oh btw we're morons who don't know how to fix bad crops. FUCKING waste of time. - 0/5
