Yet Another Public Apology

 

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Edited: 16 April 2024

But I will leave things visible because this is important to understand. I make mistakes. I don't try to hide this. Because other people may learn from my mistakes if I am honest about them. And some of them are not mistakes. They are my truth. Perhaps said from a place of fear. But truth nonetheless #OnlyHumanToo

Massive respect for your journey and courage Bo Burnham.

There is nothing "wrong" with you.

And it is, most certainly, not your fault!

Dear President Ramaphosa,

Please excuse my disrespect and rudeness. I am neither of these things.

I was terrified, acting out on my fear and not speaking from a place of center and calm.

It was a Fight/Flight reaction.

I was triggered, Sir.

"Fight" is my go to reaction.

Please accept my sincere apology.

Tata Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, and all of you who have fought so hard for Freedom in our beloved country are my heroes. And the people who I am, personally, inspired by.

One of my biggest triggers is dishonesty, Mr President. It drives me wild, makes me crazy and it never works for me. This is because I was told, as a child, that I was lying about a trauma that was very real, Sir.

This was not you I was "talking" to. I was acting out some trauma after it had been triggered. #IWasRaped

Respectfully Yours,

Nicole

#IAmEmbarresed #No #IAmOnlyHuman

My apologies, Sir.

Dear Mr President,

 

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_{This was a play on words. A reference to a game my children taught me called "Get Down Mr President" - it was directed at governance on the Hive blockchain. I was ambiguous because I was still too afraid to be direct}

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I've thought long and hard about what I might write to you, in an open letter, but I know how busy you are so I will keep this short and to the point.

I have no wish for drama, acrimony and chaos. I have no desire to see anybody punished. I have no resentment at mistakes made by only human people.

All I have been fighting for, for going on five years now, is to have some semblance of the life I created, with a lot of hard work and foolishly lost time with my children, re-established after a disastrous Wynberg Magistrate court process.

I mistakenly approached my government for help in 2019. I have, since January 2021, been waiting for the DSD in the Western Cape to correct their errors and set this right so that we can move on in peace, please.

I also shared that I have COPD and my health has been declining steadily, despite my best efforts to get back on my feet.

Mr. President, all I want is my family back, please. And a safe and peaceful life with them, please. Honestly. Nothing more.

However you are able to support this happening would be greatly appreciated.

Yours Sincerely,

Nicky

 

EMaTS reference : 2019/2188

 

_{Hoping that, we are nearing our elections, someone may reach out to amend some of this.}

_{If at the point of national elections and campaigning they still cant be bothered to respond I guess I have to accept, after five years of knocking on doors, that this is just "the way things are" out here in South Africa.}

_{p.s. I'm tired! I'm gonna move on into the light and accept that I lost this very necesary and "good" fight. I did help some other people along the way...}

_{so not all is lost. ^❤️}

_{Also... I want to learn to bake.}

 

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UPDATED: 18 May 2023

#GulamIsInnocent

#IAmNotATerrorist ! Good lords and ladies :| #Ridiculous #FearGotCancelled

#ResistYourFear

#EducationIsTheBestFormOfResistance

#ResistanceCausesRecovery

Practice:

1. NonJudement
2. Be Impeccable With Your Word (Ruiz)

#NeoTherapy
#IAmNotATherapist

#FullRecoveryISPossible

#ThisIsPerfect

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And now from the actual doctors, at last :)

This was sent to me by a dear friend just this morning (18 May 2023)

His note:

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I have to add that the compliments I receive, these days, are the best kind of compliments I've ever received before. Some genuine corkers. Priceless, really. "Your profile picture is hot" doesn't really cut it. Does it?

#CapitalismCausesFear #CapitalismCausesISMS #CapitalismCausesDisconnection #CapitalismCausesAddiction

#CapitalsimCausesCancer

#PracticeEthicalCapitalism

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=tw0sskCqrpI

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_{Part of The Accidental Theory: A journey to freedom
Read from the beginning >>}

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Which is what I was trying to explain in the final post of The Accidental Theory.

But, these days, if you mention anything related to religion or spiritual philosophies you get cancelled. Mostly.

#NotReligious #NotSpiritual #ItsAboutPractice

I'm not religious. To be clear.

Nor do I judge or condemn those who are.

#ItsAboutFreedom #PLUR

So since I'm punting #NonJudgement, because I believe it's most of the problem nowadays... I'd have to ask WHY (I suggest you step back, ground and ask WHY you're reacting so strongly to certain things, by the way)...

I'd have to ask why religion triggers people so very much. It used to scare the fuck out of me too, to be clear. Again.

But nowadays not much scares me anymore.

So I'd encourage you to think about this too, when things trigger you to react strongly. Instead of responding curiously in order to try and understand more.

Why?

Why?

Why?

#Aweh #Aweh-ness #Hippocrates #WordsWordsWords #BosHo

1. Practice Non-Judement
2. Be Impeccable With Your Word (Ruiz)

Start there if you're interested in personal growth, recovery and/or living peacefully. Despite anything that may be happening around you.

Yep. Recovery is possible.

Permanently

#ConvinceMeIAmWrong #AskMeAnything #OpenToLearning

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#CapitalismIsExpensive #CapitalismCreatesDisorders

Perfect: An alternative perspective on mental health and addition

 

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#CapitalismCausesGenocide

What is the difference between Genocide and Femicide, I wonder?

Gulam and I told the truth. Gulam and I were innocent. Gulam and I did not start the fight.

How could these last five years have happened?

#UnconsciousRacismExists #UnconsciousPrejudiceExists

#SystemRacismExists #SystemicPrejudiceExists

#WeAreTheSystem #WeAreAllResponsible

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Practice

1. Look Up inwards

#ThisIsPerfect

#ActivismCausesRecovery

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#DepressionIsTheFreezeReaction #FightFlightFreezeFawn

#ConstructiveActionForChangeIsTheBestFormOfRecovery

#EducationIsTheBestFormOfActivism #ArtivismIsTheBestFormOfActivism

#ItsAboutHealth #ItsAboutTruth #ItsAboutProgress

#ItsAboutRadicalAcceptanceOfTruth

#ItsAboutPeace

Yes.

THISIsPerfect

Join the Coexistence

#Coexist <3

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_{Featured image source}