Subject line about says it all.
This is my dad. He passed away yesterday after a very long "battle" with ALS. It's called a "battle," I suppose, even though there is no arbitrary outcome with ALS. It always wins.
My dad and I very rarely saw eye to eye. I did love him. I know he loved me. But that isn't always enough to keep two people being friends. We had gone years without speaking to each other, both when I was a minor child and as an adult.
So, I feel something, though I'm not sure what it is. Not guilt. Not remorse. Maybe a little sadness. I got the news yesterday and finished the work day, made phone calls, drank some beer and got high, then continue today. Maybe I'm broken. Maybe I don't feel anything. Maybe there really is something wrong with me.
I'm beginning to plan a trip out west to Calgary for an indeterminate amount of time. I can work from anywhere, and I suspect that internet services are still available in Canada. I've been having a hell of a time getting the Canadian passport services office to issue me a passport via snail mail, so perhaps this will give me an opportunity to walk into a passport office in person to get that shit done.
I don't really know what to think. I don't even know what I feel, if anything, so I'll just spend some time thinking on what to think and then move on with my day.
Yes, I think I'm broken.
(c) All images and photographs, unless otherwise specified, are created and owned by me.
(c) Victor Wiebe
Blind Skeleton
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