Relationships are golden and priceless especially when you are in the ship with someone who adores and understands you.
Humans were not meant to do life alone. Even animals have and enjoy their mates. So I believe that being in a relationship with someone who values you, cares for you and appreciates your very existence….is magical.
But then again, in as much as relationships are interesting and exciting, there is a need for boundaries to be set and upheld in the relationship or else both partners will come to resent themselves.
Personally, I don't like it when my partner is clingy or obsessive. I have heard a lot of stories about how one partner in a relationship can become overly clingy that they drive the other partner insane.
I feel that couples in a relationship need room to breathe and be who they are or are meant to be. A clingy boyfriend, fiance or even husband is a total turn off for me. I would start to resent the relationship. I mean texting me 200 times in one hour when I'm at work is kind of too much.
Before becoming a couple, we both had a life and I'll still like to have a life even though I'm doing life with you as my partner. So this already shows my first point for personal boundaries.
Another point I feel is important to uphold in a relationship for personal boundaries is doing away with the ex's. I know this might go against popular opinion but for me, no responsible man hangs on to his ex or calls them and carries on long conversations with that ex as if they're buddies while in a new and current relationship.
I was once in a relationship with a guy who felt it was okay to be in close contact with his ex-girlfriends. He would be on Facebook liking and commenting on their pictures. He would even call and begin to reminisce about the ”good old days" with them. To the point that he sends them money and more. I brought up this issue letting him know that he needs to put an end to it but he kept saying nothing would happen until he found himself in bed with one of his ex-girlfriend who happened to be married.
According to this ex-boyfriend of mine, he claimed that he received a phone call from her asking for help. He went to her place and she told him that he needs to have sexual intercourse with her in order to lessen her abdominal pain and this silly guy agreed. My question to him when he returned and told me was, ”Where was her husband?” and ”Why did she not call her husband to help her out? (assuming the ailment was true)”
He could not say much for his defense and that was how our three month relationship came to an end. He practically paved the way for cheating and he saw nothing wrong with it. In his words ” I was helping my former lover” was what he said. It was his alacrity for me.
Togetherness and indepence
Couples don't need to be in the same living space to feel togetherness. Togetherness is a state of the mind not just a physical state.
Independence in a relationship refers to autonomy, individuality and freedom while in a committed relationship. It doesn't mean that couples go their separate ways but rather it speaks volumes of personal development and doing what makes you…you without interference from your partner.
In fact the best thing to do as a partner is to support your better half in becoming all that they can and want to be. For it is in chasing their passion that you get to see them shine and become more valuable to you as a partner.
Independence doesn't rule out togetherness rather it strengthens the bond of the relationship. Creating room for interdependence, support and mutual respect.
There is a high level of respect that a woman accords her partner who goes all out to support her dreams and bring out the best in her. She automatically sees him as her hero and adores him more than before. I know I would 😁. The same applies to men as well.
Understanding the scope of independence and togetherness would create a healthy environment for that relationship to thrive and I'm in full support of independent yet together.
Thank you all for reading... Shalom
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