Taking Back The Reins - Part 9

clairemobey in #hive-124452 • 3 months ago

Well, if this series is anything, it's been more of a slow motion of the wagon losing a wheel and tumbling down the cliff rather than regaining any control whatsoever. I am not much of a religious person but I am at the point where I ask "Jesus Take The Wheel."

That actually makes me think of a song:

Jelly Roll: "Need A Favor"

It just honestly feels like the end of the rope at the moment.

Anyway. Despite my horrible experience at Aquaphysio the other day, I went swimming at the gym today! I am so proud of myself. I am going to try, after weighing myself and realizing I am going to die if I don't exercise more, that I will do this every day.

I have been trying, with the help of my doctors, to get the right combination of medicine together to treat my anxiety, depression, and pain, and it's been a hectically expensive endeavor. We've finally got it right, but it's left a massive dent in my nearly non-existent income. If only Government Health would offer better care...

Source

The magic box of medicine has grown from a small cardboard gift box to a shoe box that I play Tetris with every day (I hate Tetris).

My shoe box

My daily dose box

my emergency insomnia kit

Source

Anyway. Needless to say, I am grateful that I had some sort of epiphany the other day. I have been feeling that I have no control over my life and that I am somehow genetically predisposed to be miserable. Then I decided to at least try. Let me at least try to do one thing every day that gets me out of bed and makes me happy.

Today marks the first day in a year that I made it back to the gym! Shock! Horror!

I decided that I would avoid the regular laned pool for laps and I had a glorious time splashing around, doing whatever I wanted to, in this lovely pool designed for aerobics and teaching the younger kids to swim. It's deep enough to cover up to my shoulders but the temperature is much warmer than the other pool, but still cool enough to relieve me on this 30 deg Celsius day <3 It also has stairs that go right down to the bottom for extra support and railings all around.

What a glorious splash around!

Let's see if I can go back tomorrow! Maybe I can do this after all <3

#ocd #ecency #pob #silverbloggers #motherhood #selfimprovement #hivesouthafrica #busybees

3 months ago in #hive-124452 by clairemobey

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jmis101 3 months ago

Oh dear, sorry about keeping a shoe box.
You are doing great and will be fine.

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clairemobey 3 months ago

thank you so much for your warm words of encouragement <3
!Lady
!Hug

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jmis101 3 months ago

You are welcome dear 😊

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alonicus 3 months ago

Go for it ! If you can do it every day for a fortnight and you can start feeling a small improvement, it can become a habit. Then you'll do it every day, think it's doing nothing, until you look back and realise how much better you are compared to the start point.

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clairemobey 3 months ago

thank you so much! Thank you so much for your supportive message <3 yes, that seems like a realistic target to look towards to start. I think a lot of people come out of winter feeling a bit flabby, but I've actually been bed-bound with pain. Your calories don't stop counting though so all that comfort food I was eating while I did not have my pain under control was super dangerous and adding up quietly.

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ladytoken 3 months ago

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ladiesofhive 3 months ago

^!LADY

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ladytoken 3 months ago

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uyoho 3 months ago

When Jesus takes the wheels, all will be well

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clairemobey 3 months ago

thank you so much. I am grateful for my faith. I would never have gotten this far without it. Sometimes it wavers, but God never does <3

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diabolika 3 months ago

Oh how I miss swimming laps! I used to live in a condo with a nice lap pool! That pool is nice too. :)

I decided that I would avoid the regular laned pool for laps and I had a glorious time splashing around

Yup, sometimes we just need to have fun in the lap pool too - and not be hard on ourselves 😊.

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