I don't know what is in retrograde with what or even what phase of the moon we're in. I just know that between Cally and wtf ever is wrong with me, I feel like dying. I'm actually still recovering. She has been temporarily evicted to Aime's room while I recover but that's a whole different drama story for another post..
So, I think it turns out that I have had some serious food poisoning. Either that or it's a really bad tummy bug, but the evidence and my own guilt are pointing strongly towards food poisoning. Jeepers. This stuff doesn't kid around hey:
I guess, hence the extremely apt name.
When my mom left, she gave me a bag of biltong, the kind that you dream of getting... moist, bursting with flavor, and just the right amount of fat. For those of you not from South Africa, biltong is basically in competition with having a braai in what makes us truly South African. Look, everyone has their preference, but for me, I like mine pretty much how I like my steak: as close to medium rare as possible, with a nice piece of fat for flavor. Biltong is usually made from silverside or sirloin and has become horrifically overpriced.
There is a lot of effort that goes into making it though (which is why I don't make my own). @zakludick has tried his hand at it, but it's very difficult to turn into a profitable enterprise unless you're making it in bulk and selling it in supermarkets or large butcheries.
Anyway, as many of you know I have to make some pretty huge life changes when it comes to food. I need to increase my protein intake. So, I was like, Hey, biltong is protein, right? And Yes it is, but it's also preserved meat which contains a huge amount of salt. It's not designed to replace whole meals, which is what I have been attempting to do. I have had some really bad trouble with my knees since the airport trip and I'm already taking more pain killers than usual. Without easy access to the fridge, the kids being at school and Zak working such horribly long hours, I must admit that I scoffed the whole bag in three days, which was meant to feed all five of us as a treat.
I have been left feeling extremely sorry for myself, with intense abdominal cramps, severe dizziness, full body aches, a temperature, that has had my skin crawling with pain, and a gut that can't decide if I've got diarrhea or constipation. Oh, God, and then there's the nausea.
Urgh...
The 1st night was hell, but included Cally, so I'll post about that later in a "tale of 3 tails" post, the wrong way around, I know, so I'll try to get that done today. So last night, the second night, was also absolute hell. I woke up after my meds had worn off and all my symptoms had come back. The kids had all gone to sleep as it ws WAY past 10pm and from the ...er... restful noises coming from downstairs, I realized an exhausted Zak had passed out on the couch.
Between my knee pain and severe dizziness, the last thing I wanted to do was go downstairs, but with increased movement, my body started working again and I was desperate for the bathroom. I hobbled across the passage only to discover that we had run out of loo paper upstairs!!!
I tried to call Zak but to no avail. He has to put his phone on silent after a certain time otherwise work will drive him bonkers with all the notifications from various chats. I tried calling down the stairs, but that also didn;t work. In hindsight, I should have woken the kids up since they were the little assholes that forgot to replace the loo paper. What was left was an empty loo roll with two sheets of precariously placed loo paper on top. Good lord like that was going to help anyone.
I tried lying down again and then realized my symptoms were getting worse and I a) reeeeeeeeally needed the bathroom at this point and b) needed to eat something solid so I could take some more medication. So at around 1h30 am, I made the dangerous and frankly stupid trip downstairs, almost losing consciousness a few times.
Zak woke up with all the commotion and helped me make toast while I made dying noises from the bathroom. We made it upstairs but I only got to sleep at 4am. It seemed to take the meds forever to kick in.
This morning I woke up with a fever, but feeling slightly better .... well enough to yell at the children... so there's hope for me yet!
And now I recover in shame, knowing that this was most likely self-inflicted, but also the worst kind of sickness you can feel. Especially if your mobility is already challenged.
Anyway.... here's to fruit salad, yoghurt and better days <3
And look who just came to cuddle me. 1st time since we adopted Cally. Perhaps Lexi is starting to forgive me? Just a little?
