Two weeks ago, I moved to my friend's unfurnished house for a cheaper rent. As some of you guys probably know, I'm planning to build my Eco brutalist dystopian bunker very soon. And I had to move out of my previous place in the city centre to lower my cost of living. I figure that I'd be able to save 2x than what I was saving before with this move. The trade off is that the house is far from the city and then there's the tight community, literal tight as the houses are very close to each other lol. So yeah, there ARE people around. Lots of people ugh! But then I thought okay at least it is not on an island again and that I don't have to fly to to see my sister or do something in the civilization.
Compared with the tiny box condo I was living in before, this house is more spacious for me and Diablo (my cat). And of course I checked it out before even deciding to move in. My friends and I agreed it is indeed a quiet place. There are neighbours sure but they were all seemed pretty quiet when we were there. But lo and behold, as soon as I moved in, I could literally hear everyone talking and slamming the doors. It is like watching a reality TV show. It feels like these people live with me too as I can hear everything even their bodily functions. All the little noise is amplified when you are alone.
It's been a while since I've had this problem to be honest. I remember the last 2 places I lived in were quieter and more private. Now I feel like I'm not used to this kind of life anymore. It's like island life all over again, or worse, as the people around my neighbourhood live so close to each other. I begin to question my choices honestly. I know perhaps this takes getting used to again but at what cost? I just hope that I'd be able to mentally tough it out until next year or when I'm ready to start the house construction.
There are times when I feel like this is a sunk cost. I could have stayed in my previous place with swimming pool and all the nice amenities and kept my peace and privacy. But then you know, it might take a while for me to save and I'm not into huge bank loans and mortgages because for all I know, I'd be dead before everything would be completely paid off. I would like to pay for things with my own hard-earned money or even if I do get a house loan, it should only be very minimal. Something that could easily be paid off for 2 years max. I'm a first time homeowner so I'm not sure if my decisions make sense to anyone here.
Anyway, since I have no control of most things within my vicinity, I just try to find ways to minimize the noise around me to avoid going insane again. My neighbours are passive aggressive and if I'm pushed too much to my limits I can be twice as diabolic mind you. I feel like my inner Diablo is on the loose again and I'm constantly anxious that someone will attack me or something. It sucks to be always on fight or flight mode. It's like walking on eggshells. I strongly hope I'd be able to survive this year here at my new place without going mental and with all the humans around me unharmed by my diabolic cat.
I bought more booboo (google AI assistants) to surround myself with very heavy thunderstorms while I sleep lol. I filled my place with new furniture to dampen the sound. My music is on 24/7 and only at this moment that I get to write, relax and enjoy a peaceful night when all the idiots around me are sleeping. I'm grateful for a few hours of silence. Sorry that I'm back to being that ol' misanthropic diabolika again. Sometimes the situation calls for it (the monster inside me).
My friend does not plan to make some modifications to change the windows or soundproof the place and it does not make sense for me to spend money for this as I will leave again anyway. But I will do everything that I can to make sure that my future Brutalist house will be perfectly sealed, quiet, cold, uninviting and isolated - everything these shitty places that I lived in are not. I'm ready for the next level.
What Brings You Peace?
Nature for me.
