"Hey! Your shirt is too short."
"You haven't covered yourself with dupatta (scarf). You can't go out like that."
"Why are you wearing too much makeup?"
"Why you want to study more? You are not going to work. You are only supposed to look after your home. Your in-laws won't like you doing a job."
"You can't have a say in this marriage. Your father and uncles will find a suitor for you."
These statements may sound weird to most of you but in the Middle Eastern and South Asian world, the female gender is used to all this crap. This culture of women subjection to the male gender has been practiced for so long that it is engraved in the society now. Not only men, but even women also think that this is the right way, and as if it wasn't enough, they also make sure the fellow women are submissive enough.
Islam is a beautiful religion, but its teachings have been misconstrued by the Muslims themselves.
No doubt, Islam teaches modesty. It asks women to cover themselves up and at the same time asks men to lower their gazes in the presence of women to avoid the chances of any sin.
But everyone focuses on the statement for women and ignores that for men. Moreover, women are being oppressed and killed for not following the religion like that poor Irani girl.
It's like correcting one deed by doing two wrong deeds.
Yes, Islam says to preach your fellows and tell them if they are doing something wrong. But there is a proper way of everything and prejudice, enforcement and bloodshed are surely not one of them.
If women are to be killed for not following religion, then I want every man to be hung if he puts his shameful gaze on a woman or if he oppresses the women of his home. Because technically he is also committing sins of oppression and killing. On the contrary, men get away with everything.
The tragedy of that Iranian woman didn't come as a shock to me for obvious reasons. I live in Pakistan where such cases are a norm. The triggering factors are not always exactly the same, but the root cause is patriarchal society.
Islam does provide certain authority to men over women, but it doesn't demean women in any way rather feminine gender is considered delicate, worthy of love, respect and protection.
For instance, males are given the financial responsibility and it's up to women whether they want to stay at home or work.
Infact, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)'s wife Hazrat Khadija (RA) was a successful businesswoman of her times.
Hazrat Umme Ummarrah (R.A) showed her bravery in many battlefields.
There are many other such examples from Islamic history but the Islam which is practiced today is less of a religion and more of a cultural mix.
I live in such a place where the women don't even know their basic rights. I consider myself privileged to born in a Muslim family which is not so conservative and equally treats sons and daughters.
Still, I wish for some things to change but I believe bringing a change is a long process. The least I can do is not to repeat what I endured or what my friends are suffering from.
If I had a daughter, I would have liked to raise her as a strong independent woman. Being a mother of boys, I think I have more responsibility towards the society. They are very young to understand these things, but they sure observe, and everything sets in their subconscious which will emerge with time.
My husband is open-minded and a supportive partner. Kids see what their father does for me. I am hopeful they will do the same for their wives and daughters when they grow up.
All male relations in my life are so supportive regardless of the toxic society we live in. My father always gave priority to my happiness; my brothers always encouraged me to achieve my goals and my husband is so supportive of my every decision.
I can't imagine, if things were the other way round, what had I been doing? Probably sulking in a corner.
I think men need counselling and both men and women need to understand that no gender is superior to the other. Men are protectors of women not their owners. Women also need to stand up for themselves and report cases of violence, no matter how trivial they are and whoever the culprit is.
I think of moving to another country, but the core reason is not patriarchal society. Probably because I haven't suffered from it firsthand. But I have examples of my close friends who temporarily moved to other countries for studies but are now reluctant to move back because they are not used to conservative culture anymore.
To cut it short,
Most women haven't tasted what freedom is like, so they are happy in their little cages.
I invite @hivedeb to participate in this contest.
Regards,
event-horizon
